Humming II

My MIL makes this humming noise on every exhale. We ask her to stop (she doesn't realize she's doing this) and she says, Can I breathe? I say, of course, but your noises have nothing to do with your breathing. She stops, sometimes for the duration, or I'll remind her if she starts doing it again. It's most annoying when I'm driving as she sits in the front with me. I don't care so much when we're in the house. Husband (her son) says it's mindlessness, and for the most part I agree, but sometimes it sounds like the noise corresponds to something she's seeing, if not thinking. Sometimes the hum sounds like a question, a Hmmm?, the sound going up at the end. Sometimes, she seems to do this when we're talking and I have to ask her to stop it as it's so distracting I can't listen to what husband is saying. Is this attention seeking? This is just one behaviour that is driving us nuts. I just keep my distance these days, spend most of my time in my room to keep my own sanity. I don't even eat meals with them anymore, she's annoying and disgusting to eat with. And I feel horrible about it all. I was more tolerant when we first arrived 2 years ago, but now... It makes me feel like I'm a terrible person for not being more understanding and compassionate, but I can't help it. Oh well...

I was looking for the info about humming, too. I found some at http://bjp.rcpsych.org/cgi/content/full/180/2/140

 My m-i-l is 80 and lives with us.  She has dementia but not very advanced yet.  She hums quite often and says she doesn't know that she's doing it. We keep asking her to quit, she apologizes and stops for a while.

Thanks,

Suzanne Lanoue

I'd love to know more about what brings on this phenomenon. My mom is 89 and a stroke survivor. She started humming about a year ago. I'm sure she doesn't know how much she does it, but it's as natural (and frequent) as exhaling. She used to do it just when she was trying to get up and walk from point a to point b (I would jokingly refer to it as my "Mom on the move" signal). Now it's pretty much all the time, but more pronounced when she's concentrating on something.