I admit it, I mislead you.
By RedPhoenix on May 30, 2010
My previous blogs were related to finding my purpose in life, and only hinted at a family crisis. In fact, the reason I stopped writing my blog was because my blog entitled "Consciously thinking about being a poster child for double standards" enraged my "Dear" hubby so much, that I wasn't "allowed" to blog anymore. The family crisis climaxed at the end of February and, without going into details, the authorities were involved, and unfortunately, continue to be involved. My "Dear Hubby" wasn't so "Dear", even though I lead you to believe otherwise.
To quote my DD who, out of the blue three days ago announced in the car "I really like living in the apartment, just the three of us". My heart just melted. So, the three of us are doing really well and, best of all, we are safe. I also finally feel safe enough to blog again, after having my former BlogHer account deleted so he was no longer "following" me and recreating a new one. Thank you to the BlogHer staff for helping with this!
As part of my healing, I'm taking a 10-week "Women's Wellness" course offered through the Women's Centre in my town. One of the weeks focused on unhealthy relationships. That was when I realized just how bad things had been prior to the now infamous "month from hell" (may I take a moment to publicly thank my dear friends KG, SA, M-J, CAB, PP, and AJ? You are the best!), and how things had been escalating over the years. Basically, it was just a matter of time before a huge blow up. Needless to say, that was a VERY uncomfortable two hours of the course, and my journal got quite the workout that night!
Another week, we focused on safety planning, I was amazed at how much I did without knowing what I was doing was actually safety planning. One of the facilitators actually commented to me during our break how well I had done my safety planning. I thanked her, but honestly, I was still so stunned at where I had come from, and how well I had protected my kids and I.
So, if the last five months have taught me anything about myself and my life's purpose, I am a protector, a survivor, and have an inner strength I didn't even know existed.
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