I Am My Own Dream Catcher
Today I took a risk and it scared the crap out of me.
For the most part, I don’t consider myself much of a risk taker. I’m a methodical planner. I hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. But the reality is we can be as prepared as possible, and it doesn’t mean a thing. ANYTHING can happen. There are no guarantees. There is no 100%.
I used to let fear of rejection rule my destiny. I was caught in a paralyzing cycle of wanting, dreaming, and preparing, followed by never taking action, and then always wondering “what if.” It’s depressing, and nothing ever happens.
And then I worked my ass off (and I still am) to learn an art and start and grow a business. And then my fear of rejection turned into a fear of rejection with a side of emotional investment. Being rejected when it’s tied to whether or not you can put food on the table is no joke. Add being rejected after you feel like you have built somewhat of a personal relationship with people, and it’s enough to make you want to go fetal.
Now I have learned, albeit the hard way, to have a thick skin. As I said to one of my friends lately, for every 100 people you please, one will never be pleased. Not everyone is meant to get along or see eye to eye. That’s just life, babe, so get out there and chase your dreams! MAKE it happen!
Which is exactly why I took a risk today.
Someone whom I, and many people who will read this, admire greatly posted on Facebook that she is looking for freelance designers. At first I was giddy with excitement. It could be me! And so I started to respond. And the fear took over. What if she thinks my work sucks? I deleted my comment. And then I re-wrote it. And deleted it. And then I thought, what is the worst that could happen? She’ll say “no thank you.” And I’ll survive, knowing that I took a risk. I put myself out there, and that is something to be proud of.
And I’ll never have to worry about “what if.”
So, with shaky hands and a hopeful heart, I responded.
Because I am my own dream catcher.