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He told me on a Tuesday morning before work. I didn’t make it in to work that day. I didn’t make it in to work for three days. I couldn’t eat more than a protein bar a day for two weeks. I lost ten pounds. And it was all in my heart.
I felt betrayed. I felt used. I was unbelievably angry. Angry and heartbroken. I felt like I didn’t want to go on. Why? What was there to live for anymore? My life as I knew it had ended. I lost my home, my partner, my best friend.
But I didn’t lose myself. In fact, I found myself.
I continued to get up in the morning. To drive in to work. To go through the motions of living my life. Until one day I decided to change my life. To be happy. On my own. To decide who I want to be and to become that person.
I leave for the airport this evening. After two days of traveling, I will arrive at my destination. A remote location deep in the Amazon rain forest surrounded by howler and spider monkeys, toucans, jaguars, caiman, red macaws, rainbow parakeets, wild orchids and hundreds of other flora and fauna species. As one of the most biologically diverse areas in all of Planet Earth, at the heart of conservation work in the Amazon, sets an international research center located next to one of the Amazon’s tributaries, the Rio Madre de Dios. This is where I will be living this fall for six weeks.
I’m taking myself on a journey. A journey to find myself, to find myself in the midst of the natural chaos of the jungle.
I am leaving behind relationships, love, and (in)fertility for adventure, discovery and knowledge.
Goodbye CowboybootRollerSkates and hello VariationUnderNature!
