I Am NOT "Friend" Material
By StellaG on August 06, 2013
At least not "real" friend material...virtual friends- ok,I'm a "friend"...but I don't "make the cut" for what a "real friend" might be. I've tried it PLENTY OF TIMES (trust me) Usually, she will be the instigator..."Let's exchange phone numbers...meet up at the mall...do you always come to the gym around this time?" Etc...UGGGHHHHH!
Oprah would probably think I'm a real loser. She says women need girlfriends in their lives.
So, if that means we take road trips together, have girls nite out, hold each other and cry when needed, send "just thinking of you" cards to each other, go shopping together, talk on the phone everyday, etc... Then I don't have not one girlfriend in my life.
I actually feel more content that way.
I had a group of girlfriends in high school...and a smaller group in college. I also pledged my sorority with 48 other women before graduation. I've met and associated with plenty of women who have propositioned me to be BFF's or just "good" friends in my life. But I really suck at the friendship thing!
If she must be on my mind, often, then I'm not "friend" material. If I've got to call her most days to check on her (see how she's doing), remember all of her "special" anniversary dates, plan her birthday parties, invite her over for drinks and listen to her many complaints -- I'm not "friend material".
I'm an introvert. However, my personality is not like many would think an "introvert's" would be. There are several books and websites that explain the many dimensions of "introversion". Trust me- if you picture a little girl curled up in a dark corner, rocking back & forth-- that's not what introversion is! Lol
If you met me in person- you'd think that I was the "1000+Facebook friends, get togethers at my home, phone rings off the hook and memberships in plenty of organizations" type-woman. That's because I 'm the upbeat, big-smiles, lip-gloss and mascara-wearing, inquisitive, bright light in a room type-when I'm out. I'm genuinely happy and I enjoy myself-- but I don't want to engage in that for more than 3 hours in a night and definitely not more than once per month. If I'm at a convention I find myself "taking bathroom breaks" after 3 hours of chatting it up. In a stall --just taking a breather in silence will rejuvenate me.... But I'm digressing a bit...
If you need anything from me, I'll be there. I'm always willing to help others. I'm a great listener (probably was a counselor in a prior life! ) who loves to offer suggestions and insights. However, my brain is not wired to proactively reach out to you first. You have to contact me. I'm just not "created" that way. My mind is focused on my family and my career. It encompasses my brain 24/7. I've always been this way. So, women who need the daily check-in from me or the meetup to talk while we walk at the gym would not see me as a good friend.
I use to think that something was wrong with me because Oprah said...
Now I embrace who I am. I don't try to force myself to be anyone different. I love sitting with my thoughts. Those "meetings with myself" have helped me make some of the best decisions in my life. I workout alone, shop alone and spend time with my kids and my Boyfriend. You won't see me on a Girls Night Out. I'm very happy with who I am. And when we cross paths, we will probably hit-it-off! Just view it as a One Night Stand... I won't call you in the morning! :-)
Anyone else feel like I do ? I'd love to know!
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