I am not ready

My daughter drove to school this morning, taking her last final for the semester. She is a junior in high school. She is a great girl who happens to have  what I would have envied when I was in high school (brains, beauty, an athlete and a strong inner confidence).  She is also in the downward slide to leaving for college.  Sniff. Sniff.

We host our an annual mother-daughter ornament exchange tonight.  I stayed up until after midnight making cupcakes and peppermint frosting.  I have cleaned, stashed, mopped, and prepped for tonight.  And, yet my heart aches, slightly.  An ache, a reminder that my (our) daughter is slowly, preparing herself to leave for college.

We don’t see her as much this year.  She has a heavy course load (her decision), a very, very part time job, a wonderful circle of friends and a Calculus tutor!  We have dinner together as a family  most nights and the nights she lingers around the table, are little treasures.  My husband and I are giddy when she chooses to spend a few more minutes interacting with her brothers, trading jabs, giving us a smidgen of details for her weekend plans, an update on her AP classes, or maybe a little gossip floating around the school!

She is my first born; my only daughter.  We are different in many ways.  I am loud and chatty; she is quiet, observant, and not into drama.  She is a beautiful girl who doesn’t have time for boys and would much rather meet a friend at Starbucks.  (Okay, I never would have done this.. maybe meet at 7-11 for a Slurpee).  She is confident and doesn’t need to be the center of attention.  She lives her faith with respect and acceptance of others She is kind.

I know our job is to raise our children and give them the skills and confidence to go off into the world and make their footprint on this earth. I love you sweetie.
Now, go nail that Calculus final!

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