I am NOT weak

So one day I was watching an episode of Greys Anatomy (shhhh….don’t judge. I lasted long before I caved and started watching); someone was talking to Dr Shepherd and he called her weak because she was a drug addict. Then she went into this whole soliloquy (thank you Shakespeare for that awesome word) about how he needed not to remind her of the fact that she was an addict and then the awesome came. She told him off! That she was in fact not weak but really strong because she was in a hospital full of pills and not giving in….blah, blah, blah.

I almost jumped out of my seat screaming. “Yes! You tell him!” Then I came to my senses, it was nap time after all.

Why such a reaction? No. I’m not an addict, I suffer from a mental illness and have been told to many freaking times: “you got this cause you’re weak” or “you don’t have enough faith” or “you just need to pray more”.

Well, I just want to say this to the world:

I am not weak

Here are a few things I am though:

• I am a bible believing Christian
• I have a relationship with Jesus my Lord
• I am a wife
• I am a mom (who is currently having her nose picked by a
19 month old)
• I am funny as anything
• I am fluffy (don’t understand that? Check out google)
• I am a writer (no seriously)
• I am a sexy woman
• I am loving the fact that my kids love Third Day
• I am obsessed with ninjas
• I think Johnny Depp is the coolest thing on 2 legs
• I am madly in love with my husband
• I am highly sarcastic (I really did mean that last sentence though)
• I am so in love with goldfish crackers (seriously so addicting)
• I am loud
• I am loved
• I am a butt wiper
• I am a professional nose cleaner
• I am a Mrs. Fix-it-all 
• I am homeschooling my kids (sheesh I really am crazy)
• I believe I am the oldest Newsboys fan
• I am obsessed with all things DC Talk
• I am overly dramatic
• I am an odd duck (seriously I tell everyone I meet, I am the weirdest person you will ever meet)
• I am losing my hearing (remember before? Yeah….went to the doctors. They don’t know if I will lose it completely or if it’s just one ear or just partially in one ear. Shoo they are not even sure what’s happening. Sigh)
• I am a chocoholic
• I am a Trekkie
• I am a huge LOTR fan
• I am obsessed with all things Star Wars
• I am a Whovian
• I am a huge klutz
• I am adventurous
• I am a big wimp (have fun figuring that out)
• I am 30 yrs old….again
• I am me

 

Don’t mistake this, I suffer from a mental illness – BUT I AM NOT MY DISEASE!

I am so far from weak.

• Everyday I hafta get up no matter how I feel; I hafta move and function and deal.

• everyday I callno cry out to God to help me make it another minute of the day. Cause there is no way I can’t without Him.

• Everyday I am here. For my beautiful children, for my wonderful husband. No matter what I feel or what my disease is telling me.

Why?

 

CAUSE I AM STRONG

 

I call those who suffer from mental illness: ninjas. Why? Because first and foremost, nothing is as cool as a ninja. Second, ninjas do most of their fighting in secret. People do not know when ninjas are around til it’s too late – and they’ve been beaten. Third, ninjas fight for those who can’t fight for themselves.

~this post is dedicated to all my fellow mental health sufferers. Don’t give up my ninjas, you are not alone.

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