I Am Not Your Social Event Coordinator!

I'm officially quitting my job.

Not my paying job or even my job as a parent, although I wish I could do that sometimes. I am no longer going to be “the playdate coordinator” for my eight year-old daughter. Why? Well, there are a lot of reasons and I should tell you as a mature parent that it is because I want my daughter to be more responsible and learn how to manage her time but really it’s because I’M SICK OF IT!

I can hardly keep track of my schedule sometimes (client interviews, project deadlines, doctor appointments, yada, yada, yada)!  Then there is our family’s schedule (school events, vacations, visiting friends and relatives) and my kids’ school schedules (homework, homework, HOMEWORK) and my kids’ social calendars (birthday parties, practices, rehearsals, and PLAYDATES)! As a parent (and by that I mean MOTHER because you know Dad’s don’t keep track of these things), do you ever feel like you are an overworked executive assistant? Well, I do! Only I’m not working for some high-profile executive and not getting paid for it either!

Don’t get me wrong. I loved setting up playdates for my daughter when she was younger. I was eager to make sure she was getting social time with other kids (so I could get a break). Now however, she HOUNDS me constantly about setting up playdates, especially since it’s summer. “Mommy, can you call Suzie’s Mom so I can have a playdate?” “Mommy, I want a playdate with Jenny!” “Mommy, when can I have a playdate with Elizabeth?” Not only does this drive me batty, but I find myself pleading with some little girl’s mother to arrange her schedule so I can get my daughter to shut up!! Okay, that’s a terrible thing to say and do but after four hours of constant badgering, I’m ready to pay anybody’s mom to have their daughter play with mine.

The other thing that really bugs me about arranging playdates for my daughter is that awkwardness between me and some of the mothers. You know what I’m talking about. These are the mothers who put up with you because their daughter (or son) happens to be friends with yours but if you met this person anywhere else, you’d never consider hanging out with them. Sometimes you feel like your dealing with someone at the DMV who’d rather get an enema than talk with you.

Then there’s the whole thing about feeling like your kid’s “agent” or something. Like I’m representing my daughter and I go into all the things she’s interesting in playing or doing whenever she meets a new friends. “Hey, my daughter likes to make beaded necklaces and so does yours…let’s set a playdate!” The other mother may hesitate so I’ll go into the “we can have the playdate at your house if you feel more comfortable with that.” Why do I do this? My daughter is perfectly capable of determining whether or not she wants to set up a future date to play with a new friend.

I am also getting very annoyed with my daughter’s attitude about me being her personal assistant. Like I’m just sitting here waiting for her to ask me to arrange her summer of playdates. Ummmm…I don’t think so little missy. Yesterday I explained to her that she would be setting up her own playdates from now on. She could come and ask me what days she has free and if it is okay to schedule a playdate. She could then call the friend and discuss it with her and her mother. Once they’ve agreed on something, she could tell me about it and put it on her calendar.

My daughter immediately put together a list of friends and their phone numbers. When the Hubby came home last night, she was on the phone talking to a friend. His reaction: “Oh my God! Are we now going to have to deal with her being on the phone for hours?!” My response: “Oh crap!”


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Random Chick Blog: Woman. Wife. Mother. Member of an Insane Society.


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