I Can No Longer Afford To Be The Good Little Church Girl

Afraid that I will disappoint everyone

Mostly, afraid that I will disappoint myself.

But here I am anyways, daring to question the unquestionable. Daring to dream bigger. Willing to face the hard truths about myself. Willing to try and fail and try again.

And what I'm realizing most these days is that while I still have a long ways to go in this journey, I am not the same little church girl who sits on a piano bench nodding her head in smiling, oblivious agreement at the life that she was told she should live, resting her self-worth on personal performance and the ability to please everyone.

But I don't have to live like that anymore. Life is not a stage and I am not an actress. I am not defined by what things I do well, or what I look like. And I don't have to ask permission to be who I was born to be. 

Those who change the world aren’t waiting for permission. They’d rather apologize for too much tenacity than regret having too much timidity. - Jeff Goins

And I refuse to live afraid anymore.

Because this is our chance to let our voice be heard, to say something that changes the status quo, that pushes progress and moves humanity forward. To make something beautiful we can’t live without. Or not.

We could, of course, keep waiting to live the life we dreamed of, to share the words burning on your lips until a better time arrives. Until you’re ready. Until someone comes along and gives us permission to be ourself. - Jeff Goins

And although I may not have it all figured out, if there is one thing I know it is this:

I can no longer afford to be the good little church girl sitting on her piano bench waiting for the rest of the world to give her permission to be who she really is or do what she could really do. There is way too much at stake these days.

And I can't think of anything more freeing than that.

 Rachel Rowell  @ saltedgrace.com


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