I Choose My Kids Over Friends and Me-Time
By carrien on May 03, 2012
Maybe some women who are moms do want those things. I can honestly tell you I don't, not if it means losing time with my kids. Oh, I may dream out loud on occasion, or say that sounds nice. I may make jokes that give the impression I'm just like everyone else. But with the actual choice in front of me, all that, or being here for my kids, I choose my kids. Every time. (Now, if I can work it out that they are hanging out with an elusive daddy who is often out of town and he is getting time to just be there for them then sure, I'm up for a few hours of me time. But that's pretty rare around here, and they still don't go to sleep until I get home to give them kisses, even if they are all in bed. But even then, I will probably hesitate and mentally weigh time at home with husband I miss and kids I love against whatever it is I'm thinking of doing.)
I remember when the Boy was still a baby and my 2 best/oldest/practically sisters friends came for a visit. They wanted to take a night to get away, just the 3 of us for a while and I just couldn't wrap my head around it. "Sure we can go out. Let me just get the diaper bag and the car seat and the baby sling all packed up first and get him dressed", which is what I did, and he came along. It's caused a lot of awkward moments over the years -- this thing I feel, this choice I make. But I don't really know how to do it differently.
I know my friend who is having the birthday party will understand, because I know she gets that about me. She is very much the same.
I may come off as very weird to some of you, and that's ok. I'm not going to tell you how to be a mom. But maybe it will give some the courage to choose staying home with their kids when that is what they really want to do, even though others are urging them to just go away for the weekend. Because it's ok to choose to put your kids first, it really is. And I can't be the only one who feels this way. Am I?