What I Didn't Know About My Mother
By Mama and the City on January 26, 2012
I am usually not a quote person, man I barely remember to repeat the words literally when someone says it to me. I can not be trusted quoting, trust me. But, I can be trusted using the mouse of my computer.
This quote came from Best Foodies in response to my mental illness post:
"When the body is sick people send flowers, when the mind is sick people throw stones"
When I read this quote it resonated to me and brought me back to my teenager stage. Why?
Because for so long I was angry at my mother.
For so long I was aggressive towards her and her actions.
For so long I judged her.
For so long I thought she hated me.
For so long I thought of leaving her and never seeing her again.
For so long I thought it was all her fault.
I did not know that she had was called maniac bipolar disorder. I did not know.
All those times when she accused me of non-existence stuff, I did not know.
All those times when she thought I was plotting against her, I did not know.
All those times when she would yell at me or critize me, I did not know.
All those times she would point only the negative of me, I did not know.
I am still trying to deal with my past in some ways. I am still trying to make myself a better person in the present, but more definitely I am trying to create a good sense of what to be in my future. For me and my daughter's sake.