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I Do NOT Want To See John Edwards Have Sex

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Editor's note: John and Elizabeth Edwards confirmed their legal separation today, with John calling it "extraordinarily sad." Well, duh. I'm not terribly shocked -- are you? Tell me in the comments.

I'll admit that I like a good train wreck. Most Americans do. We watch reality TV shows as families squabble and crumble, we see friends fight, lovers break up. We watch and either laugh or sigh. The paparazzi circle and the photos and video spread from computer to computer.

However there's an added element of voyeurism when a politician is involved. These "leaders" of our cities, states, and country parade themselves from podium to podium discussing important things, such as the economy and health care. They champion causes like fair wages and worker's rights. They make promises. They debate. They ask to be held accountable.

Then, like John Edwards, they admit to having an affair (ouch), fathering a child with the mistress (double ouch), and find themselves the subject of rumors of a sex tape.

Yes. A John Edwards sex tape.

I think that needs to sink in for a minute. I mean, sure we had The Blue Dress and the lap sitter ala Gary Hart. The foot tapping in airport stalls. But is this the first time we just *might* really see a politician do the nasty?

My mind reels.

A few things immediately hit me when I first heard an Edwards sex tape may exist:

1) I really don't want to see this man naked.

2) I really want to know if his hair moves during sex.

3) Could this politician sink any lower?

4) Will he ever run for office again?

5) I really do not want to see this man naked.

Never fear though, Emily Miller at Politics Daily says it's likely I will never see the former senator get it on:

Let's face it, Young has lied before: He previously claimed paternity of Edwards' daughter with Hunter, and if we believe him now, was willing to drive his own life over a cliff to cover up for his boss. But he now insists that he became disillusioned when he discovered the sex tape in 2007 ... in his friend Hunter's home. (Gee, was it hidden on the coffee table, along with an open box of chocolates?) Doubtless the motivation of a book contract had nothing to do with Young's disillusionment ... but he's threatening to reveal more gory details of Edwards and Hunter's affair in his new book, The Politician, which will be released February 2. Oh, and those who do not want to hear another word about the contents of the (purported?) sex tape should NOT tune in for his interview Friday on ABC's 20/20.

Yes, our leaders fall from grace and yes we've seen public figure after public figure admit to transgression after transgression. John Edwards isn't the first and certainly won't be the last. However this is the first politician I may ever see have sex. If I watch. Oh who am I kidding, I'm watching.

Lori Ziganto is shielding her eyes though:

On the plus side, perhaps it is just him admiring himself in front of a mirror? Sigh. No, we won’t get off that easily, I suspect. I wonder if he says things like “Oh, yeah, brush my hair just like that” or “Who’s your illegitimate baby daddy?” or “Oh, baby, how do you like my stimulus package?”

Please disappear, John Edwards. Kindly take your icky tape and go to that second America you were always rambling on about.

As someone who talks to staffers up on the Hill daily and occasionally sits down with Congress members, I'm really rather disturbed by this recent trend of naked politicians. Newly-elected Senator Scott Brown's chest in the middle of Cosmo, the possibility of Edwards on my computer screen moaning and sweating ... it's really more than one political director can take. I mean, let's be professional for God's sake! Isn't this some sort of sexual harassment on the job?

What ever happened to the good old days, way before the Internet, when you paid your mistress some hush money and kept her far, far away? Maybe in another country where the local reporters would never suspect? You even had your staffers tell people you were out "hiking the Appalachian Trail" and no one was the wiser? What happened to "kept" women and wives who quietly said nothing so their husbands could climb that political ladder?

At least then, while the indiscretions were just as pervasive, we

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Catootes 5 pts

If such a tape exists, the next thing to go viral all over the web will be the new Political Porn site. Taking the obsession with political wrongdoing to a whole new level for your viewinig pleasure.

Eww, no Edwards sex tape for me thanks. Helmet Hair is not a turn on.

After all the years of stupid politician tricks one would think I would not be surprised nor disappointed in another bad choice by an elected leader, but somehow this whole fiasco truly disturbed my sensibilities, which are usually not so affected. This goes beyond distate into a whole new realm of pond scum.

And the political spectrum wonders why a large number people do not engage in political discourse or active participation in local poltics. I'm going to crawl under my rock now.

Work Experience Edublog 5 pts

No matter what comes out about this subject, my thoughts keep coming back to his wife and children. I cannot imagine Elizabeth battling breast cancer and seeing yet another public report on her husbands sleezy escapades. His eldest daughter must be mortified that her father not only committed adultry AND fathered another child from that, but did so while her mother was fighting for her life.

Arrogance, selfishness and stupidity on the part of men such as Edwards and Woods, being played out so publically, should send a message loud and clear. It's not about getting caught, it's about having something called integrity--not doing it in the first place.

Let's spare us all from any tape, but especially Elizabeth and her children.

Judy Anne Cavey-Educator/Writer/Grantsmanship Work Experience edublog creator: http://workforcedevelopment.edublogs.org/

BustedPlumbing 5 pts

Now I really do wonder if his hair moves during sex.  Not enough to watch the tape, but maybe enough to make my husband watch it and tell me if it does.  Can you imagine if we had elected him president?  And then all this stuff would have come out afterwards?  Would have made Clinton look like a choir boy.  Great article!

http://www.bustedplumbing.com @BustedKate ( http://twitter.com/BustedKate )

avflox 5 pts

Best line ever: "At least then, while the indiscretions were just as pervasive, we didn't have to WITNESS the acts. Such is life in the age of transparency, easy uploads, and immovable hair." I adore you. But you knew that. xo

AV Flox is the editor of Sex and the 405 ( http://sexandthe405.com ) -- what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Kim Pearson 5 pts

mostly because I was sure that you would have something really funny and smart to say - and I was right.

But as for John Edwards - I don't even want to see him with clothes on. 

Kim
BlogHer Contributing Editor ( http://blogher.org/blog/kim-pearson )|KimPearson.net ( http://kimpearson.net )|

averygoodyear 5 pts

I have no interest in watching this, and I definitely don't even want to hear about it.  Honestly, the fascination with people behaving badly that permeates American culture is perverse.  I wish people could just lead their lives without having their private affairs thrown all over the public awareness.

---

http://averygoodyear.net
What happens when you take an American girl, give her a Canadian husband, a dual-citizen daughter, two Mexican dogs and a German car?  Anything goes when it's A Very Good Year!

ceceev 5 pts

I will not give him any more attention! Just another man in power who thinks he can be all and do and with no  consequences..just becaseuHE IS!   The lying and cheating...the lying and cheating...his wife...and kids have gotten the brunt of it all.  He has hurt many people. So, I will not watch and feed the bad dog! 

Cece-one of The Two Whos

http://www.thetwowhos.com

Rita Arens 7 pts

I sure hope landismom will be here all week.

Rita Arens writes at Surrender Dorothy ( http://surrenderdorothy.typepad.com ) and BlogHer and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak ( http://tinyurl.com/9pg62e ). She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.

landismom 5 pts

Until I read Liz's comment. Now I have mixed feelings about it.

After all, who doesn't want to see a Democrat get spanked at this point?

Liz Henry 5 pts

What! He's kind of cute! Maybe he gets spanked, that would be worth watching.

And surely there'll be some great parodies.

-----------------
Liz Henry ( http://www.blogher.com/haystackprofile/viewprofile... )
Composite: Tech & Poetics ( http://liz-henry.blogspot.com/ )
lizzard@bookmaniac.net

Sarah 5 pts

Yeah. I don't want to see that either.

Can you imagine if we had elected him President and THEN all this garbage came out about him? That would have been distracting.

Ask the Clintons.

BlogHer Contributing Editor, Sports and Fitness ( http://blogher.org/topic/sports-fitness ) Sarah and the Goon Squad ( http://sarahandthegoonsquad.com/ ) Draft Day Suit ( http://draftdaysuit.com/ )

SCanon 5 pts

I avoided watching Paris Hilton.  I avoided watching Kim Kardashian.  I watched Screech.  I totally watched (and laughed through most of) Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee. 

I might be able to stay away from a John Edwards sex tape....until everybody else started talking about how icky it was.  Then my curiosty would get the best of me. 

I hope it never comes out.  I really don't want to see this.  Really.  I mean, what if the guy is actually really kinky and likes to talk dirty and says things that would make me call my mommy in tears?  I just can't handle that.  I.  JUST.  CAN'T. 

Somer blogs at Merry Wife of Canon ( http://www.merrywifeofcanon.com ) as well as Smell My Plate ( http://www.smellmyplate.com ).

Erin Kotecki Vest 5 pts

Politics & News Contributing Editor Erin Kotecki Vest ( http://queenofspainblog.com/ )

Denise 9 pts moderator

It's bad enough that I have to picture what an Edwards sex tape would look like. Now I'm picturing Crabby McSlacker watching an Edwards sex tape.

ew ew ew ew ewwwwwww

~Denise BlogHer Community Manager
Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

Crabby McSlacker 5 pts

Were there a link to click to see an authentic John Edwards sex tape?  I'd totally click on it, though I'd probably feel really gross after.  But then I clicked on the "one rule for a flat stomach ad" just to find out what it was.  Curiosity always gets the better of me. Plus, I am incapable of ignoring any link marked "NSFW."

Also, there's a certain twisted pleasure I take in watching arrogant, entitled, powerful people humiliate themselves.  So yeah, I'm afraid I'd watch!