I Don't Feel Like a Good Mom

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"You're a good mom."

I've heard it many times. My mom, my husband, therapists, coworkers, friends, aunts, grandma -- even my in-laws have said it several times.

"You're a good mom."

They say it and all I think about are those times when I yell. Or the times I turn on a movie so that I can write post, browse Pinterest or just have a few minutes of peace while I make dinner.

"You're a good mom."

Oh yeah? Do good moms roll their eyes when their kids say "watch me" and beg you to watch them do a pirouette for the millionth time...that hour? Do good moms "lose" the Wii remote just so they don't have to play Just Dance Kids when they are too tired? Do good moms lie about not eating all the Reeses Peanut Butter Cups out of their kids Halloween candy? Do good moms eat them in the first place? Do good moms tell their kids Pixie Sticks taste yucky? Do good moms tell their kids they "forgot" the Bible CD (which you listen to every moment in the car) at home and opt for Pandora instead?

"You're a good mom."

Really? Because I totally just ate the last Oreo and then blamed my husband when my kids asked for one. And he isn't even home.

"You're a good mom."

Yeah, right. Because all good moms make their three-year-old say "Phineas and Ferb" just so they can get a good chuckle out of the way she said Ferb. What? It's cute!

"You're a good mom."

I wished I had my headphones today when we were in the car so that my husband would have to answer "where are we going" or "how much longer" for once.

"You're a good mom."

I hate the cold and didn't want to take them outside today.

"You're a good mom."

I couldn't wait for nap time. But maybe rather than thinking of all the ways I'm lacking, I should think about what I did do for them today.

"You're a good mom."

I bent this rubber hopping thing like 500 times for my three-year-old while I was cleaning the kitchen and she laughed every time it jumped into the air.

"You're a good mom."

I let my older daughter sleep in and then spend some time playing Barbies -- without her little sister.

"You're a good mom."

I cuddled with them. I loaded "Where's my Perry?" on both iPads and helped them every time they got stuck. (FYI-That game is kinda fun!). I made six sandwiches today. Six. Just because that's what they wanted. I watched "Barbie Princess and the Rock Star." I did a lot of their laundry. I gave them a bath. I cooked. I cleaned. I jumped up and down to Pandora with them today during their daily dance party.

"You're a good mom."

I went out and got two Toys R Us toy books so they could start making Christmas lists. I swaddled dolls. I dressed Barbies. I prayed for them. I prayed that I have the peace I need to raise them to be more than I am.

"You're a good mom."

And so are you.

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