I Don't Think Everything Just Happens for a Reason...


I've believed this for as long as I can remember... it's what kept me going while surviving deaths in the family, a broken marriage, people I've trusted turning their backs on me... EVERYTHING.

But the more I thought about this, it made me wonder... REALLY? Does a rapist commit the crime because it was "in the books" for the victim? Does a husband betray his wife because the universe decided it's what's best for her? Does a guy treat his significant other like crap because just so she'll realize there's something better for her?

I think most times, crappy things happen because at least one person made a poor decision. And it's up to each individual to use it as a springboard to make it whatever they choose it to be.


A man can find himself incredibly blessed in a perfect marriage with wonderful kids, a well paying job, and the most beautiful life... and feel gratitude and live it to the fullest, happily ever after. Or... he can find himself wanting more, feeling unfulfilled til death do us part. Or... he can be grateful for everything and share that love and joy with others by giving hope & encouragement to those who have less. Or... whatever else he choose to make of it.

A mother with her child can find herself broken and alone after her husband leaves them to find his own happiness... and use that as fuel to create a new, even better life for herself and her child. Or... she can feel broken and betrayed forever, wasting away her days as a victim. Or... she can create an incredible life for herself and her child, and teach others who are facing similar challenges to do the same.

It's what she chooses to make of it.

Sure, everything happens for a reason... but I now see this in a different light. Because when bad things happen, you can't simply sit there and say, "it happened because something better is waiting for me ahead"... and expect magical things to just happen. If bad things happen in your life, you kinda have to decide there's something better for you in the future (because, dangit, you deserve the best life has to offer!!), get off your butt, pull yourself out of that bad place, and make your own good stuff happen.

control your destiny

Yup, things happen. But no matter how bad things may look... no matter how broken you might feel right now... YOU have the freedom & power to choose your own "reasons why"... and I hope they're all beautiful, wonderful ones that totally blow your original life plans out of the water!

Carmen (@NinjaMomDiaries) - a MOMMY, teacher, business owner, graphic designer, #cloudporn addict, and foodie... blogs at The Secret Diary of a Ninja Mom.


In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.