I Dreamed of a Butch Knight


What I did not understand until I had two long-term relationships with butches and dated several more, is that I went from one mythical world to another. I could no more re-create myself as a straight wife without a past than I could as a femme wife in an apron with a martini ready. But more relevantly, gender expression, especially beefed-up masculinity in men and women is just one part of a person.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the look, but when you imbue a person with attributes based on their appearance, you’re heading into quicksand. Masculinity does not mean a person is the breadwinner, it doesn’t mean they throw you down sexually, or know how to build a bookshelf. It doesn’t mean they can’t cry, or feel, or cook.

Right now I live on my own and find it thrilling to be self-reliant after a lifetime of waiting for a butch knight.

Originally published at Purple Clover.

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