I Hate Dating Less Now That I’m Married

By: Wendy Castellanos-Wolf

the one

The best scenes in romance films are the ones where the protagonist and the object of her/his desire meet in a serendipitous manner and share a noteworthy experience. The screen couple indulges their impulse by letting go of expectation, being in the moment and allowing a natural flow to take precedence. As viewers, we relish in the romance unfolding before our very eyes and wish that someday this too can be our story. Unfortunately, reality is not scripted nor story boarded, and most real romances develop over a period of time called dating.

I am sure we are all aware of dating and while some of us might be ambivalent to it all together, others, (me), harbor very strong opinions on the subject. I have always hated dating. While I have always truly enjoy getting to know people on a one on one basis, and I like to dress up and go out, what I’ve always hated about dating is what accompanies it: unrealistic expectations, awkwardness and the predictability of dates.

One would think that as a married woman in her thirties dating would be a memory long forgotten. After all, married people don’t date… Wrong! I date more as a married woman than I ever did when I was single.

When I was a single girl in Los Angeles, one of my biggest dating challenges was actually meeting someone I wanted to date. While the city has a population of almost 4 million and Meet Market Adventures has identified it as one of the top ten single cities in America, car culture and urban sprawl make it difficult to step out of one’s comfort zone for long enough to meet new people. As if in a romance movie montage, I spent a great deal of time actively exploring the city alone and imagining how fun it would be to share my findings with the elusive “one.” Fast forward and cut back to present day.

I found the “one” and while I still hate dating, I agree that it is a healthy and necessary activity to maintain the freshness and the connection necessary for a successful long term relationship. We have survived awkward and predictable first dates. We actually know each other really well and while we sometimes still have unrealistic expectations of each other, and life together is not as perfect as happily ever after in a romance film, I am happy to say that because S is willing and enthusiastic to explore the city with me, I now hate dating a little less.

Here is a list of suggestions for original and memorable dates in Los Angeles either for the newly dating, or those trying to keep the fire burning. Enjoy!

dating in los angelesIO West & “Opening Night-

The Improvised Musical”- IO West on Hollywood Blvd. hosts some of the best improv comedy in LA. It is a theater, bar and school for up and coming comedy stars. For 15 years, Friday night has belonged to “Opening Night.” It is an improvised musical with extremely talented triple threats. They dance, they sing, they make you laugh and the most amazing part is that it is entirely improvised. 

Wine Tasting at Barnsdall Art Park-

Silverlake Wine partnered up with the Barnsdall Art Park to host wine tasting events and raise money for the arts. The date begins with a tour of the historic Hollyhock House and then culminates in wine tasting and picnicking on the lawn complete with a live DJ and the scenic hill top views of the city. The proceeds from the ticket purchase go towards funding free art classes for children.

Downtown LA’s Art Walk-

Every 2nd Thursday of the month Downtown’s Art District transforms itself and welcomes art lovers and tourists alike. It is a self-guided tour with lots of free drinks and entertainment around every corner thanks to all of the art galleries.

Ice Skating in LA? Why, yes! -

Every winter, Pershing Square in Downtown LA turns into a public ice rink where daters can rent skates, take laps around the ice while enjoying live music, and finish the day off with a spiked hot beverage.

Take a Hike –

Go for a walk, a run or a hike together. LA, believe it or not has some amazing hikes with romantic views of the city. Go up to the Hollywood sign and crack open a bottle of Champagne, or go check out the bat cave at Griffith Park. For info and maps to specific hikes around the city check out discoverlosangeles.com/blog/hiking-los-angeles-las-best-trails

Cooking Class-

Sur la Table at the Farmer’s Market hosts couples cooking class. There is a full calendar of events online where couples can chose what type of cuisine they want to learn to make together. You know what they say about the way to a person’s heart…

Bike the Venice Boardwalk-

If you’ve never done this, do it! The Venice Boardwalk is vibrant with colorful characters, hand-made jewelry, candles and incense, and while walking the boardwalk is fine, speeding through it on a bike is way better. The best part is that if you go the distance, you’ll end up in Santa Monica, and if you time it right, you can be there to enjoy Happy Hour on Main St.



In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.