So I have been taking Salsa lessons and I am really loving it. It is strange for me to have to dance with a partner--I am so used to dancing by myself at the club or anywhere in my house but I have become more comfortable with sharing that space with people in a social setting if that makes sense.  I don't have to see it as a sexual advance but rather a fun activity of sharing.  We had like 5 or 6 weeks of beginner lessons and now I'm in the intermediate class.

In the beginning class, every week the girls would out number the guys -- so I would end practicing the lead part more than the follower. The other girls that I danced with would apologize because they didn't know the lead part and I'd say - it's ok - i have to learn cause i will want to teach my ma :) So needless to say -- i learned both parts unsatisfactory but now that I'm in the intermediate class - i can pay attention to both parts easier and I end up anticipating my partners moves and occasionally leading him into the lead part - WHICH CAN CAUSE SOME CONFLICT - and when I dance with my instructor - he ends up telling a lot to let him lead which makes me laugh and after a night of dancing at the club - i confessed

I have a hard time following.

to which he agreed as only a man could

Which leads me to a movie I watched last night, that addressed this very issue called "Woman on Top" an Alan Poul Production starring the gorgeous Penelope Cruz . One of the main premises of the story was that she had a severe case of motion sickness and it affected she did other than the things she had control of. She could only ride in a car if she drove, or dance if she was the lead, and have sex only if she was on top. Her husband cheats on her because he said he needed to be on top and feel like a man. She leaves him and goes to San Fransisco to be with her friend and be a chef. 

We had discussed a little bit of this kind of thing in my theory class when we were reading Pornography v Erotica.  That in heterosexual porn and even in male homosexual porn there is a big emphasis on being the giver or penetrator and very much about having dominance or power over the other person. 

Does it always have to be this way?        Don't think so

I thought it was kind of amusing and sad at the same time that there was a movie that was "about" a woman being ok only when she has a medical condition that makes it acceptable in a heterosexual relationship.