I Have A Mom Butt.

The other night my husband and I took our kids to swim at a lake nearby.  This is an awesome lake that no one goes to on weekdays, and especially in the evening: which means we have it all to ourselves!  We love this lake and try to take advantage of it as often as we can during the summer.

Now, after 5 enormous pregnancies and still having a few dozen pounds to lose before I get to pre-pregnancy, college-weight:  I hate bathing suits.  I have a body that was designed for having babies.  I have never had a body that looks like any of the ladies on Pinterest who are stretching in green fields wearing hot pants and sports bras…

ec84b1e82f0ef53eeb28f98721898495

I can’t imagine running around my suburban neighborhood wearing this.                                               Does it even come in size “I’ve had 5 kids”?

…instead of wearing bulging compression pants and a red shirt that says, “Running Sucks” and sweating profusely in the safety of my backyard.

562646_10200873188894047_571379775_n

It does.  

Even in high school…heck, even in Junior High I was a curvy woman.  I was buying maternity dresses in order to wear something that could house my bossom, so to speak.  My belly has never been firm, my thighs have never been sculpted.

Yet, I married a man who absolutely loves curvy, voluptuous, dark and witty women.  Go me!

And plus, I actually like myself.  I like my squishy belly, I like my monster calves, I like my curves and I like how I look.  I’m pretty sure they made 50s petticoats for women like me to rock their curves with a hefty za-zing.

Even still, bathing suits are stuck on my “eeehhhhhhhhh….” list.

So, anyway, that night at the lake it was just us so I didn’t have to remind myself that I don’t need to worry about what other people think.  I just enjoyed myself with my family, and my husband enjoyed me in a super cute, purple vintage bathing suit.

After we were all done swimming, we went back up to the car (see: SUV) to dry off and head home for dinner, and my husband asked me to turn around so he could take a picture of my hair.  He said it was so beautiful and shining red in the afternoon sunlight.

My husband is the greatest, if you haven’t noticed.

I turn around and let him take a few pictures of my hair, which I am looking forward to seeing.  We all get in the car and start driving away, and I start flipping through my husband’s phone to see the pictures of my awesome hair…

And my awesome butt.

In that picture, I was presented with an undeniable truth:  I have a Mom Butt.  

The Mom Butt is a little wider, a little flatter and a little longer than the butts on the totally dedicated and amazing women on Pinterest (mad props to them, seriously).

The Mom Butt is what my aunts’ had when I was growing up in LA.  The Mom Butt is not what you will ever see in magazines, or posing on a red carpet, or being praised in Gweneth Paltrow’s no-bake, no-eat cookbook.

However, the Mom Butt can be found in my kitchen cooking totally awesome meals for my family.  It can be found sitting behind my desk while I teach the kids their lessons.  It can be found in the backyard tending my garden and chickens in my  little homestead.  It can also be found with a pretty hot man behind some locked doors in the house, if you know what I mean (and I think you do…).

So, I am not a Pinterest woman, and I’ve got a Mom Butt…and I’m okay with that!

923497_10203295375087188_1627645201_n

You can’t crash fancy hotels looking for elusive craft beer spots in hot pants, my friend.

 

 

 

http://platypusdirective.com/2014/06/19/i-have-a-mom-butt/

More Like This

Comments

In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.