I Have a Terrible Condition
By Butiwantcake on October 04, 2012
No I'm not sick. Or hurt. Or dying any time soon. But the truth is that my new baby has eaten my brain cells. Like a little baby zombie but less literal.
I have momnesia.
Oh it's real, people. Trust me.
I heard of this phenomenon when I was pregnant with my first. I kind of laughed at first, thinking that it was probably due to lack of sleep. ahahahahahaha...ha..
It was minimal in the beginning, "pregnancy brain" was the blame for forgetting simple things like events, birthdays, thank you cards... I meant to send those, I swear.
But after she was born, I started to notice that my memory was just not as sharp as it used to be. You know I started to leave the house, can't find my freaking keys ANYWHERE!!!!! only to find them in my right hand.
Sigh.. That really happens!
Or get to work and realize that I completely forgot to put on makeup. ?? Even though I've been wearing makeup DAILY for oh twenty years or so.
Oh sure, you think. That can happen to anyone!
And yeah it can. I blamed it on lack of sleep, because honestly, I love my little four year old girl, but the child would.not.sleep.evar. for the first year of her life. I was like the walking dead for most of 2008-2009.
Now I have my second child. Bad A$$ Baby Chunkers. He sleeps all night long. He only cries when he's hungry. He's the holy grail of babies. I can't blame my brain farts on the lack of sleep anymore, so he must have sucked out my brain cells somehow while I was sleeping.
My memory is WAY worse this time around.
Important meetings?? Even though it's on my calendar and I just saw the freaking update? Forgotten.
Keys?? Where are those effers? Oh I left them OUTSIDE on my porch just begging for some intruder to use them for free access to my home.
Baby's FORMULA FOR THE DAY?? Forgot to MAKE it. Luckily my husband works from home and can rush all of the things I seem to forget to daycare fairly quickly. He always has my back.
Just an example of momnesia in motion today:
Keys: found on porch
Hair: Oops. Forgot to brush it.
lipstick: I got the liner on- but forgot the lipstick. And no, I'm not sadly trying to bring back that weird 90s lip fashion of dark liner.
I get to work this morning, only to realize that I'm wearing my house shoes. Which isn't uncommon, because I choose to drive in soft fuzzy comfy slippers instead of heels all the time. But what I realized is that I forgot to bring my actual heels, so I had nothing to change into. Slippers, unfortunately, do not make good corporate attire.
So I had to run to Wal-Mart to pick up a pair of heels on the quicky quick. Which is why I was late. Which is also not an acceptable late excuse.
Dear boss, I'm running late this morning because I forgot my shoes and must do some shopping for new ones. Thank you.
Yup. The baby has stolen my brain cells.
Aaaand I just realized that my zipper is down. Again.
Do you have momnesia?? Please tell me I'm not the only one.
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