I just euthanized our virtual pet


Screen shot 2011-03-14 at 3.33.33 PM
R.I.P  "FeeFee"

Born: March 8, 2011

Died: March 13, 2011

This is a very 21st century tale of woe.

Early last week, my kitten-obsessed daughter begged me for a FooPet. And because I am a sucker for all animals, even computer-generated ones, I caved. (Also, I was somewhat intrigued at the thought of a pet that I could program to abstain from munching on its own feces.)

In theory, FooPets are pretty cool. For a mere $5 a month, your child has the experience of caring for something that will not die if they forget to feed it for two weeks, unlike the hamsters, fish and turtles that we have all murdered. What? You say you haven't murdered any animals? Uh... I guess that's just me.

But here's the thing.  By day 3 and 4, my daughter had moved on to something else, and I was getting these emails of doom "FeeFee is hungry! She hasn't been fed for one (1) day!" "FeeFee is very thirsty! When will you give her water?" "FeeFee's litter box needs to be cleaned!" "FeeFee is lonely! She hasn't been petted for two (2) days!"

So here I am at 10:30pm, trying to finish all my editing work, but I gotta stop to feed the cat. And give the cat water.  And pet the cat with the little cursor that turns into a hand when you rub it on her fur. And clean up the cat's crap.

THE VIRTUAL CAT'S VIRTUAL CRAP.

So I told my daughter that we were giving FeeFee away. And she's like "Who?" Uh huh.

And then I put FeeFee down. And I didn't even pay the extra fee to have her ashes put in a little urn. Because I'm cold.

If my children ever ask for a pet besides the fat, drooly, poop-eating ones we have already, I kept this screen shot of FeeFee. And I'm going to pull it out and say, "I had to send this poor animal to Jesus' laptop."

 

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