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Hi! My name is Zandria, and I live in Washington, DC. I wrote for BlogHer.com for over three years (on topics related to single life and online datin...
 
 
 
 

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I Live Alone, But I'm Not Lonely

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I've been living in my new apartment for over a week. It's been everything I expected it to be: my commute to work is shorter because I'm living closer to a Metro station; I've unpacked all my boxes, broken them down, and discarded them; I've ordered a bookcase and a TV stand. However, what I'm really proud of is the number of visitors I've had -- seven of my friends came by just this week, which doesn't include the six people who helped me move in -- to check out my new space.

When I told one of my friends that I didn't have a microwave and was looking for a used one on Craigslist, he immediately offered to give me one that he's no longer using and delivered it to me himself.

Other friends have been asking me when I'm going to have a housewarming party. I wonder, do they realize I've never thrown a party in my life? But that I'm pretty darn excited about doing so for the first time ever? And that I'm actually not worried that if I throw a party, nobody will show up? Because I know they will.

It's been over three years since I moved to the DC metro area. When I moved here I didn't know a single person. Since then I've met a lot of people through the jobs I've had, and through the DC blogging community, and through my online dating experiences. And those people have introduced me to even more people. It's really kind of remarkable when I think about it.

I often think about how different my life is now, compared to when I first moved here (and into my very first apartment by myself) three years ago. I wasn't familiar with this area at all; I chose a place based on the fact that it looked all right from the outside and because I could afford it. For the next year I dealt with roaches, unsavory neighbors, and the occasional mouse strolling through my place.

In that apartment, I sometimes had friends who would come to visit me from Richmond, but most of the time I was there by myself. On the weekends that I didn't go back to Richmond to see my friends and family (I was making the 100+ mile drive a lot more often than I do now), most of the time I would be alone. I got a lot of writing done during that time, but I know for a fact that I wasn't particularly happy.

It took a while for that situation to change, but due to a variety of circumstances -- dealing with (and overcoming) a number of life challenges, taking the initiative to pursue new jobs, learning not to be scared to interact with and meet new people -- it certainly has.

When I look back at how my life used to be compared to how it is today, I feel incredibly happy to be where I am. I knew that when I made the decision to get a place by myself again, it would be the polar opposite from my first solo-living experience. While I'm technically in this apartment alone, with the option to shut the doors and ignore the world, I no longer do that.

Correction: I no longer do that nearly as often. I still like my quiet time. In fact, I've spent most of the day today by myself and it's been great. The difference is that while I'm enjoying my time alone right now, I'm enjoying it because I know that it's temporary. I know that I have the option to make a call, or send an email or text, and I could have company if I wanted it. Although I will certainly exercise that option soon, I'm not doing it tonight.

I'm alone, but not for long. And that fact makes me really, really happy.

Related Reading:

Constantly Knitting had a far-from-ideal renting experience at her last place, but she's hoping for a change with her new apartment. (Best of luck to you.)

Alicia did a walk-through of an apartment she'll be moving into soon, and she loves it. She also posted some pictures of ideas she'd like to incorporate into her new space.

Megan Pav just moved into a new apartment that she loves in Fez Jdid.

(Contributing editor Zandria blogs at Zandria.us.)

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Zandria 5 pts

If I decide to move in with a dude at some point in the future, that's one thing. But move in with another female roommate? Unless I HAVE to, I won't. Living by myself is where it's at. :)

Personal blog: Zandria.us ( http://www.zandria.us ) BlogHer blog: Singles/Fitness ( http://blogher.com/blog/zandria )

Candelaria Silva 5 pts

Solitude and togetherness - it's great to have the option for both.  It's also important to reach out to a new city/area when you there, that way you have options.  So many people move to a new place and end up hating it because they don't make connections and end up feeling lonely.

http://blog.candelariasilva.com ( http://blog.candelarisilva.com/ )

Good and plenty!

lauriewrites 5 pts

If and when the time comes when I end up in a committed relationship that inspires me to live with another person that'll be the only reason I do it voluntarily again. My life is so full of people that I love the down time, and I just don't enjoy sharing my space or adjusting my own activities for other people that much - at least not people I have to behave marginally well around. ;)

Laurie

LaurieWrites ( http://lauriewrites.typepad.com ) ( http://www.flickr.com/photos/rubyshoes )

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midnightbliss 5 pts

I was 24 when I decided to live alone to look for a job somewhere else, I actually felt very excited and enjoyed the freedom I had. Sometimes I get lonely but it was a great experience for me. But now I'm back living with my parents, but if I will have another oppurtunity, I would love to go somewhere and live independently.