I love you, but I can’t STAND to be around your kids

I used to be good friends with Charlene and her husband, Ben. I mean GOOD friends. We partied in college, where we met. We kept in touch. Charlene and Ben even moved up to Sacramento, where I was living at the time, mostly on a whim, and the four of us—Charlene, Ben, me, and whoever I was dating at the time—played. We camped, hiked, talked over coffee, over beer, at the beach, over BBQ. We spent Thanksgivings together. We were close.

 Then Charlene and Ben had kids. At first it was great. Meghan was so cute. Then Brett was so cute. Of course, Charlene and Ben came around less, were available less—a LOT less. And while that made me feel a bit sad, I understood… of course. I tried to get over to their place a lot—I knew it was easier for me to travel and be in their space than vice versa. But in short order, this became impossible for me.

 When the babies turned into toddlers… that ‘s when I began to sense the permanent rift in our friendship. It’s not just that I didn’t like their parenting style--to say they were permissive parents is putting it mildly. But I’m not a parent, and as far as I can tell, everybody feels strongly that their parenting style is the “right” one… Who am I to say otherwise?

 It’s just that Meghan and Brett… are completely obnoxious and I can’t stand to be around them. It’s not that they suffer from some kind of disorder… It’s just that they ARE disorder; Charlene and Ben cater to their whims or ignore them, seems to me, and the result is… two kids I’d rather never see again, a family I’d rather never see again.

 I’m sad. I miss my friends. Should I be happy for their family-ness? Honestly, I regret their family… I don’t think having kids made Charlene and Ben better people, or happier/healthier people. Certainly, it’s ruined our relationship.

 I feel like I’m not supposed to think these things….

Elana Paige



In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.