I Never Expected to Be a Repo Man

I did a quick drive a few minutes ago to a dog adopter's house not far from mine. I remembered seeing the dog, a Yorkie-ish little thing, and the woman who wanted to adopt her at the adoption event. All I know is that her check for the adoption bounced, and she did not return calls or e-mails regarding it. So for the second time this weekend, I did a stand-on-the-doorstep-and-demand-money gig.

I never expected to be a repo man.

The woman answered the door. A guy, presumably her boyfriend, squashed behind her into the doorway. I had a polite speech all memorized, but he greeted me by saying "What the f*ck do you want, b*tch," so I just introduced myself and said, "Your check bounced. We need payment immediately or I will need to take the dog back." She gave me a bunch of lip and swearwords.

I was going to repeat my demand that she honor the check, but then I caught a glimpse of the dog on the floor of the living room. Filthy, so filthy. And cowering by an ottoman. That's not what she looked like the last time I saw her at the adoption event.

So I gave up on the payment; I just wanted to get the dog out of there. I switched to saying "Give me the dog back now. We have an excellent relationship with the ____ police department. If you don't give me the dog, I will come back with police officers." That got me more lip and vulgarity. I had to repeat my demand several times. Finally, the male half of the couple picked the dog up by her head and tossed her to me. The woman then slammed the door in my face--just missing my hand.

According to that couple, I am a f*cking, fat b*tch. And, who knows, maybe I am. But MY dogs are happy and clean and I've never stiffed a nonprofit animal rescue.




Now blogging at:  I Shall Never Forget the Russian Salad

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