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Sparkle (0)
I had a hard time learning how to breastfeed my son. After seven months of struggles, my milk supply finally dried up and I had to stop nursing him.
I was hoping things would be different with my daughter. They were different, but worse. Since she was born early, I was not able to breastfeed right away. It took a while for my milk to come in, even though I was pumping every three hours right from the start.
I was never able to nurse her to satisfaction, she would need to be supplemented, and then I would need to pump to try to boost my milk supply. It would take an hour and a half to do the entire process.
The most milk I ever got was two ounces - and that would be in the morning after I skipped a pumping time. By the time my daughter was eight weeks old, my milk had dwindled to less than a half ounce per pumping session. I gave up nursing her, but was determined that I would still pump as long as I had milk. I was taking herbal supplements to boost my milk supply and still pumping every three hours.
When my daughter was ten weeks old, I quit. I was getting about 10 cc's of milk after 20 minutes of pumping. And it was hurting more than ever. I was tired. I was frustrated. I was stressed out. And I cried.
All the literature, even the formula containers, say that breast milk is best. And of course it is - that's how God designed babies to be fed. But our society seems to make moms feel guilty if they don't breastfeed. Well, I tried, and I really want to, but I can't.
And I won't feel guilty over it, either. My mom even (unconsciously) put a guilt trip on me. I won't give in to it. My health - emotional and physical - is better for not trying to milk every last drop out of my sore breasts, and because my health is better, my children are better. My husband is happier, too - he has a happier wife, which makes him a happier husband.
