I Say We're Adopting, You Say...

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The sentence that follows all these horror stories. "I don't know the details." No, you don't. Just because you heard a story about adoption from your mother's brother's cousin's friend of a friend does not mean it's true. You don't know the circumstances, but more importantly you don't understand the laws or how adoption works.

In all honesty, you don't know anything about adoption.

She then mumbled something about work and went to go clean up after lunch. I felt bad for being so snappy. For like 10 seconds! Then I was super glad that I snapped back. Sure, she probably didn't deserve the full inquisition of my wrath, but seriously -- don't tell me the worst possible outcome for my anticipated joy!! Don't take that away from me, from us! The waiting is already hard, so I don't need you to stoke all my fears with your probably untrue doomsday scenarios.

The equivalent of this is if someone told me they were pregnant, and I told them about all the people I knew that had miscarriages, or children with birth defects. In the next breath. Seriously -- that's what it is!

Katie brought up a good point -- she asked if it was a generational thing. I thought about it, and yes. Every person who has responded with negativity has been over age 45. I know that adoption has changed a lot in the last twenty years. Adoption has gone from being closed to open, a secret to something to be celebrated. It's changed, and there are a lot of people who do not understand the changes. But that STILL isn't a reason to say these things to us.

I wanted to take that lady by the hand, sit her down and say: "Let's try this again. I say I'm adopting and you say.....".

Congratulations.

 

Love,
Colleen

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