I Suck at helping my daughter with her homework...

My baby started college last week, and I couldn't help but think back to the good old days (for me anyway), when my daughter Sara wouldn't ask me for help with her homework, but I'd offer anyway; 

I suck at my kid's homework! Since i went to school (which was about one hundred years ago, back when the dinosauers ruled) math and just about everything else seems to have gotten harder and I was pretty much obsolete as far as my kids homework was concerned right around the time they hit first grade!

So that's why I was so excited when my daughter told me she had to do a paper on Earth Day. How cool is that? If there was one thing I majored in, it was writing about ten pages of crap on just about anything as long as it didn't include math! So when my daughter showed me "her" paper, i set about correcting and adding on to it as best I could...here's what she wrote:

Dear Earth, happy birthday! I can't believe your 210 million years old already. It was just yesterday that you were in the Jurassic period of your life. I remember that your super continent, pangea, was already starting to drift apart. I also remember the first land plants that you grew...the life that your plants gave was amazing! You had animals such as plated stegasaurs, brachiosaurs and many more animals. You also had the first birds like the pterosaurs and even the early mammals. I hope you have a wonderful birthday, Love, Sara.

Now here's what i wrote:

Dear Earth, happy birthday! I can't believe your 210 million years old already when you don't look a day over 29...ok, ok, just kidding, those lines on your face, barely noticable. Probably during your jurassic period. That was because your super continent, Pangea was already starting to drift apart, probably because of too much sun. I told you to use more sunscreen! I love your first land plants! The ginkgoes i buy in a bottle...they were on sale at Walgreens last week, pretty cheap. My little dog Max would have a ball barking at your ptersaurs. That is, if they didn't eat him first. Have fun on your birthday, but don't party too hard...remember your last hangover the ice age...that really sucked! Love, Cindy

My daughter no longer asks me for help with her homework.

Cindy Huber