I tell my story because I have to…Writing to heal my wounds

All sorrow can be borne if we put them in a story or tell a story about them.       Isak Dinesen author of Out of Africa

The last year and a half of my life has been a compilation of hellish moments mixed with miracles, these are just a few of them:

I birth twins

my husband slapped me and I pulled a gun on him,

my twins crying stopped me from pulling the trigger,

they were 3 months old,

I kicked him out instead,

we went to counseling,

we reconciled,

we enjoyed our girls,

we endured financial upsets and voluntary repossession,

I recommitted to my health,

I began purging again,

we celebrated our 7th anniversary,

I found out my husband cheated on me with a one night stand after I put him out,

we went back to counseling,

I no longer trust him,

I want a divorce,

I don’t want a divorce,

we celebrated the twins 1st birthday my twins are walking,

my oldest is in dance class and she told me I was her best friend,

I am paranoid,

I am still purging,

I’m also drinking,

I love my life,

 I hate my life,

my students call me mom and tell me I am the best counselor,

my boss told me I am doing a good job, I hate my job, I want to run away,

I could never run away,

EXHALE!!!!

This process is like peroxide to my wounds, it stings a little and it bubbles letting me know that there is still some dirt lingering and until it no longer foams signaling that I am still soiled I will continue to write.

May my pain be peroxide to your wounds, stinging as it cleanses.

bandage

What say you??

from MoodyMommi.com

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