I think it's working... from home
It's been about 6 months since I started this little adventure of working from home, and lately I've been thinking a lot about how much has changed. And... being so incredibly thankful that this has happened and gone well.
Some people thought I was a little crazy and that's probably true, but it was what I needed to do for me and for my kids. And I'm pretty sure that's not crazy at all, but I get that this arrangement is not for everybody.
One of the big "aha" moments that kind of sealed this decision happened shortly after I went back to work from maternity leave after having W. A co-worker kindly asked me "So, are you settling into a nice routine now with the new baby?" And, I said something polite or sarcastically self-deprecating like I do, but inside I was screaming "Nooooooo! Are you f*cking kidding me? I HATE my 'routine'!!!!"
I hated sitting at a desk everyday, watching the clock, knowing that I was missing out on being with my kids and knowing that by the time I got home, I would be so fried that that time wouldn't be enjoyable for any of us. And, I hated that, at the end of the month, my salary barely outweighed the cost of quality child care.
So, it was time for change and I was incredibly lucky that it happened. I was able to keep my job, but with decreased hours and pursue the consulting work that I had been doing for a couple of years.
And now? I have more "work" (as in the kind I get paid for) than I did when I was working full-time in an office. Some really professionally-rewarding opportunities have come my way recently, and it;s good to be in a position where I can take advantage of them.
Life is chaotic and crazy and sometimes I'm up until 2am, or have to work most of a weekend, but I'm HAPPY and my family is happy. On the everyday days, we play outside and make a mess and go to the zoo and nap. And, life is good. We're reconnecting with old friends and reaching out and making new ones.
I know there are plenty of people who manage the balance of parenting and jobs that are not as flexible and I envy the ones who do it well. Because, I just wasn't at all. I really sucked at it and am damn lucky that I was able to make a change and switch to doing something I am good at: being my dorky self and a good mama. :)