I think my computers all decided to do a robot uprising.

The night before last, my laptop decided to wake me up by playing music, from...nothing, apparently. The speakers are always muted, and I don't even have a media player on the laptop. Weird. So, I picked the little bastard up, hit the mute button again, checked to make sure the cord was still in okay, and set it back down under my end table.

So, yesterday, I woke up and grabbed my laptop from beside my bed, and...noticed, somehow, even though it was still plugged in, it was dead (obviously just trying to catch me off-guard).

Well that's okay, there was just a break in the cord which I knew I could try to fix later (oops, couldn't), so in the meantime I wiggled it around every once in awhile until I could make enough of a connection that the AC adapter light would go on. Eventually it just...stopped working; the wire inside was completely severed.

The weird part is, Kev's AC adapter socket on HIS laptop decided to just bite the dust right after mine. We were both having pretty much the same problem--our laptops couldn't charge.

I immediately suggested it was aliens and proceeded to wrap several layers of tinfoil around the top of my head like any reasonable person would, but he just told me to relax; he'd get some new AC adapters later on. We could work on our desktops.

Except that when he turned his desktop on he got a warning message that his hard drive was about to die. He figured it was just Windows lying to him, but his whole computer was just acting bizarre. All the computers were acting weird at the same time. And my Wii stopped reading Gamecube discs.

Now, either this is aliens, or it's no small coincidence that the very night before this happened, that episode of Futurama where the robots rise up and rebel was on. My electronics are getting ideas.

And see, this worries me, because I have an electric toothbrush that could potentially choke me to death, and I'm really bad at using a manual can opener. Plus I hate having enough candles to light a room laying around because I know that I am going to die from setting myself on fire by lighting too many candles one of these days. That is just how I am going to die if I don't get hit by a bus first. I have come to terms with these facts.

Shit got scary last night when my scanner decided to turn itself on and scan something, and when I opened it up today, there was no paper inside and no scan file on the desktop.

I'm on my desktop computer writing this (perhaps it stays in line because it knows as I built it, so can I unbuild it), but I must flee now, before the rest of the household electronics find me locked away in this dark little hiding place. I'm taking canned food and water rations to a shelter I've built under the backyard. Even my beloved Wacom tablet was operating at 180-degree coordinates until I manhandled it and stared really, really aggressively into its hollow soul.


PS- Firefox crashed the first time I posted this article. It knows I'm on to it.


Article originally posted at RedMongoose.net


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