- Share This Post
- Pin It
- 2
-
Sparkle (0)
To round out the end of Breast Cancer Awareness month, I went and had my mammogram today. For those of you who have had a mammogram, I will give you a few moments while you hold your breasts and go "ouch". OK thank you for the sympathetic feeling up.
I am only 35, but with a family history of BC, I need to start my yearly mammo's now. I made the appointment a few weeks ago and I was VERY pleased to find out they had a mad rush of appointments due to the advertising that has been going on this month. Nothing makes my sore boobs swell with pride knowing that there are a lot of women who are taking the advantage and getting a mammo done.
I was called back into the changing area. Why do they feel the need to keep it frigid in those rooms? Do THO's (titty hard on's for those of you who are not in the know), help give a better x-ray? After undressing to my waist and pulling the girls up and out of the waistband of my jeans, I covered myself with one of their lovely stylish gowns. Sweet mother of pearl, could these things be less flattering? My bra is off, my tits are hanging to my knees, and they have me dressing in this sheer paper thin sheet with ties. Score one for my self-esteem.
I scrubbed off my deodorant and headed into the waiting area. Thank goodness a copy of Real Simple was sitting on the end table. I flipped through it while waiting for my name to be called. Luckily it was not long before my name was bellowed out loud enough for the next county to hear.
I entered the exam room, also set at a balmy 30 degrees. The tech had me haul out my left breast and place it on the waffle iron. What to know what my first thought was? " Man this is going to make a great blog entry". How sad is that? After she lifted my left mammary she looked at me and said " We are going to need a bigger paddle". Wooo hooo score one for big boobs! I was all proud and full of myself till I realized she was grabbing the B.I.G.G.E.S.T. paddle they have. Is there not a part of my body that is not XL? She place my left boob in the bigger and better paddle, set the handles and told me to hold my breath. Hold my breath? This was a good idea for many reasons. Main one being, if I was holding my breath I was unable to scream out " Holy f*cking s#it this is painful". Rinse lather and repeat with the next boob.
For those of you who have never had a mammo, let me try and paint you a picture of what it is like. Take two hardback copies of War & Peace. Place one copy under your breast and the other copy on top of your breast. Then place one hand on top and one hand on the bottom. Squeeze them together like you are making hamburger patties. When you feel like you nipple is going to shoot off your body, then you know you are doing it right.
Don't let this scare you off. A mammogram is very important and is something that every woman should have done. The pain you experience for the 15 seconds, yes I counted each time, is nothing compared to the pain of finding out you have breast cancer and it could have been detected earlier if you had had a mammogram.
