College Never Prepared Me for Not Using My Degree

As a couple of others mentioned here, leave town!

You will learn so much about life if you pick a place on the globe, and just go! Get a job that pays you enough to live and explore.

I speak from a similar experience. After college I decided my degree plan was not for me after all. I packed up a suitcase, bought a one-way ticket to join a high school friend in Honolulu and lived the remainder of my 20's gloriously! Oh and found my husband there, too!

Americans get in such a darn rut, go a have fun! This may be one of the biggest blessings you ever could have hoped for. You'll figure it out.

I think we all feel this way.. or at least many of us that find the time and drive to commit to blogging and Kiera Knightly (present party included), though can't quite find the drive to land ourselves in position we might be proud of.

Like you, I am a college graduate (2008), who has experienced a tough job market and am currently tending bar in New York... until the next big life event happens that spawns the necessary need for change.

In the meantime, make the most of those days at K-Mart. I bet you get some good advantages for holiday shopping :)

I enjoyed reading your piece. Looking forward to more.

Sincerely,
Kerri
http://kerriamber.blogspot.com

Shortly after I graduated from college, my cat peed on my degree.

Which is about the most use I got out of it to date.

Still, I'm not sure I would be the person I am today if I hadn't gone to college. It's hard to look at THAT big picture sometimes but it's true.

I think I might have gotten a bit more educationally out of college if I had waited, but my growth as an adult would have been stunted.

I mean, who knew that you could learn so much by sharing a bathroom with a WHOLE FLOOR of girls?

I think college is about learning about yourself and developing skills that can translate into any job no matter what the degree. Like finishing something on time or showing up! Problem is, there are no jobs and people who don't go to college also have those skills... and besides, the degrees that help you get a job are BORING! Like business management (ew) or computer science!

People like us (I'm a 24 year old non-(very-impressive-university)-degree user) need to wander around and fail and be frustrated because it forces us to create, learn, and grow. I like it this way most of the time!

I can completely understand how you feel. I went back to school and finished my degree, and I am not really what for...

I am tired of internships, and I don't have 2 years experience right after graduation, why do they even have entry level..

Good Luck, my prayers are with you..I am 36, so our age difference is quit a bit..grew up fast also, but gave up, but I gave up for two long, you are young and have opportunities out there for you.."GO GET EM"

Nicely written, Daydreams. I too, think we place too much emphasis on "what we do", when we should get to know the person as a whole.

Having jumped off the 'tread mill' at the ripe old age of 23 (graduated college, then quitting a stable job with lots of promise), to instead backpack internationally for 1 year- solo, to return to a Life that never quite felt like it 'fit', to starting my own business at 24, with lots of starts and stops - all the while judging my 'under-achievement'... I completely appreciate your feelings.

College doesn't prepare us for Life. Living prepares us for Life. Whether or not we went to college, we were still that age and would have still been that age. How much of what we contemplate and experience is simply a cause and effect of our time on this planet?

You have been blessed with these life experiences, because as they say "we never know God unless it thunders". You may not realize the depth and breadth of the wisdom you have gained until later in life. But you have gained it, and it will serve you always.

I find it interesting that in the US, one of the first questions we get when we meet someone is 'what do you do", but in other countries they will ask 'Who are you'. As an artist, I have always answered that question with 'I AM an artist".'I am an artist' doesn't answer what I 'do'. Perhaps I sweep floors. It's easy to confuse what we DO with WHO we are. You are YOU, beautiful YOU, no matter WHAT you do, it is simply your birthright.

This was a lovely post. Very thoughtful and genuine.

The truth is that we all have regrets and wonder about the what if's. I'm 39, and I don't feel like my life has begun yet. I've been a teacher, a mother, and now pursuing the writer hat, but i have not reached my full potential.

You're 25 and the whole world, your entire future lies ahead of you. Go take some chances. Go make some mistakes -- a lot of them. And don't regret a thing, because every experience you have, every chance you take, every mistake you make will help bring you to yourself. I know, preachy.

Regards,

Marina DelVecchio

Email:marinagraphy@gmail.com

Blog:http://Marinagraphy.com ( http://marinagraphy.com )

Web site:http://Marinadelvecchio.com ( http://www.marinadelvecchio.com/ )

FB:

I am 33 and feeling much the same way about my education. I'm realizing the decisions I made were based on what I thought would make me the most successful but not necessarily happy. I was burned out in a job I hated and said goodbye to six-figure income. I will find a creative way to make my education work for me.

Lifting in Lace  www.liftinginlace.blogspot.com ( http://www.liftinginlace.blogspot.com )

Hi Hollyjane,

What a sincere article... no doubt there are countless others who feel just like you. You're not alone (certainly in this economy), plus I felt the same way you felt not too long ago.

My advice: don't be afraid to go after your dream, NOW. After college, I really wanted to travel. However the situation looked hopeless: I had no connections, no money, no skills for jobs abroad. But in the end, I found a way working as an au pair for a wonderful family in France. I truly believe it was the best decision I could have ever made.

Don't think of "failure" as a bad thing, think of it as a sign that it's time for a change. I think the best advice ever given about failure comes from J.K. Rowling (author of the Harry Potter books). I found tremendous inspiration in her speech and I hope you find some comfort in it too:

http://www.crcdesignstudio.com/blog-en/2010/10/6/f... ( http://www.crcdesignstudio.com/blog-en/2010/10/6/f... )

I wish you the best of luck.

First of all, there's no shame in working at KMart. After I first graduated, I temped as a secretary for a while, and I've done it when I was between jobs too. At one point I made more doing that than using my degree! Secondly, the fact that you're facing "failure" now will make you a lot more prepared for life than your friends are. Sometimes crap happens, and you just have to deal with it. If it really bothers you, blame it on the economy!

With all that said, it's never too late. If you suddenly think you'd like to do something else, then go for it. The worst that can happen is that you'll fail :) [Trust me, I know from experience.]

If you substitute Kmart with Target and fast forward 9 years I could have written this! You aren't doing it too late. You're doing it early in my book of life. I'd love to say it gets easier, but I would be sugar coating it. The way you handle what life throws at you and staying true to your wants and desires is what is important. Just think of all the customer service and problem resolution experience you are getting by working at Kmart!

I agree completely!

I only wish I had that mentality in college, instead of spending so much time (and money) trying to figure out what I wanted to do and what degree to pursue.

Samantha Jackson

I understand your frustration. I graduated from a decent private college thirteen years ago and let me tell you, it's not worth it to put so much energy and expectations on your degree. What I did discovered however, is that it's all about the connections you make the experiences you have (big or small) and the beauty lies in surrendering to the unknown (as difficult as that may be). College is where you build friendships, learn how to really study, and start the process of figuring out who you are (which never really ends).

As cliche as this may sound, it really IS worth focusing on what you do have instead of what you don't. The good part is that you are asking the right questions about life and really thinking about the meaning of everything.

I would think that just even being on Blogher is a great achievement and means you are on your way to being a successful blogger.

The cool thing about this day and age is that people can re-create themselves even easier with all the technology out there.

I've re-created myself dozens of times! When I was feeling pretty stressed out about the current direction of my career my sister reminded me that many of us have to re-create ourselves even though it can be very uncomfortable. It's how we grow and get out of our comfort zone.

I wish you the best and I am sure "success" will find you.

www.adventuresinsam.blogspot.com ( http://www.adventuresinsam.blogspot.com )

How about thinking of college as growing your mind and soul and body rather than strictly tech/career skills? College made you who you are today and who you will be tomorrow. It's putting money in the bank... or rather, cells into the brain and conscious into the soul. Or so we hope.

Kathy (p/t copywriter, f/t mom)

Diary of a Return-to-Work Mom: Going Back to Work After Kids ( http://returntoworkmom.blogspot.com/ )

It seems like you are and have acquired a lot of self-awareness in the past 25 years and perhaps more so in the last few years that things haven't quite turned out the way you expected them to. The only words of wisdom that I can add to what others have said and your replies to those comments is that, ultimately, life is about learning exactly who you are and pursuing your potential. College definitely doesn't teach you that but LIFE does...when you take the time to live.

I sounds like you are learning a great deal about yourself right now and the things you really want in life. You'll be years ahead the majority of people once you've figured that out (although take it from me, it will take many different forms over time).

Treasure the journey you are on. Doors and or a window will open once you have a strong sense of what you want to see happen...no matter what the economy might be.

Your insight into your situation is half the battle of making your way out. Life experiences with work and social situations will add much to your book and developmental learning. It will all even out eventually. Education is putting theory into practice.

Patty

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. And you are right, "success" is a relative term. For most people, though, especially my parents and the like, I haven't met their expectation of success.

I am grateful, especially now, for the job that I have. There are so many people who don't have anything at all. I am also grateful for the people I have met that have fractured my ideas of superiority. I truly, truly undervalued the work that those in retail and other service industries did until I found myself there. I work with some of the funniest, most honest, hard-working, intelligent people I've ever met. And it's not at a university, a laboratory, a law firm. It's in the middle of a KMart in west central Illinois.

holly jane

If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.  ~Frank A. Clark

Nicely written I have forwarded to my daughter and neices.

I agree with above contents - they don't offer "life" classes in high school or college and here is why; we are all beautifully unique in our own way. Hopefully you have elders to offer some idea of guidance or point you in the right direction for many things (babies, mortgages, marriage, divorce, 14 year old daughters who turn into aliens) and friends to laugh and cry with you on the journey. I did not have parents that had the ability or will to guide me and I learned much the hard way.

Here is a good quote that turned on some lights for me:

''Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan
'press on' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.'' - Calvin Coolidge

Take heart hollyjane - this too will pass.

I really appreciate your insights. I believe one of the most important things that I'm doing now is looking around the room after a door shuts. There's got to be a window somewhere, right? There are paths in life that I'd never considered for various reasons. Now, I ask myself, "Why the heck not?" If everyone else is doing a dang good job of shutting doors for me, why in the world would I shut more of them myself?

If I had jumped straight into a "normal" career path, I would have let my life become complacent. I'm too crazy for complacency.

holly jane

If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.  ~Frank A. Clark

Thanks for your comment!

lmao@the crockpot

You are right. The most important thing I learned in college was that I was exactly who I needed to be, and it was stupid to apologize for that.

My journey after college is (obviously) ongoing, and I'm finding that not jumping into an immediate idea of "success" (by societal standards), I am learning far more about life, myself, and my own ideas of a life well-lived.

holly jane

If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.  ~Frank A. Clark

With all due respect to your frustration, you *are* succeeding, even with your not-great job. You are working and earning an income and being useful to yourself and to others. Don't denigrate this work. It's teaching you a lot.

I took a retail job and did it part-time for two years, having never needed any additional income beyond my writing. It was highly instructive to see how I felt wearing a plastic name badge -- and how others treated me. It's now my second book, "Malled: My Unintentional Career in Retail" (April 2011, Portfolio.) I don't regret a minute of "not succeeding." It taught me a lot.

I turn 25 before the end of the year and I (thankfully!) have a job (even if I don't like it), but it has nothing to do with either one of my degrees. I went unemployed for several months after graduation and it was agony. I know this won't help much, but you are not alone and it will get better.

I like to think of it this way: I may have missed my calling, but it will call back eventually.

----------------------------

The Soap Box ( http://www.blogher.com/andthatsmysoapbox.blogspot.... )

But the longer I'm out of college the more I think that our parents and teachers messed us up when telling us we had to go to college to get jobs. I mean, they weren't entirely wrong. If you have a degree there are more avenues open to you but college doesn't teach you how to get a job. My arts degree certainly didn't put me on a job path (well not exactly, it kind of did but that's a whole other post that I've been trying to write for months and will finish one day).

College doesn't teach us how to get jobs. It doesn't teach us how to find the right job or keep it.

I think the job of college is to teach us about ourselves.

You may not be able to undo your decisions but that doesn't mean that paths are closed to you. There's always an entrance. It just might be harder to find and get to than it would have been had you made that choice earlier. I think often that the harder route is the better one. You value it more.

And yes, some people do tell you that you will fail. It takes far, far more bravery to try and fail and try again than it does to succeed.

Contributing Editor Sassymonkey also blogs at Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca ).

Don't fret too much. (Easier said than done, I know.) My husband and I have always felt "older" than we are. We quickly tired of the party-on motto of college -- both of us while still in college. We married "early" by some weird standard that neither of us understand... or care about. And we enjoy being ourselves, even if people make fun of us for "settling down" too soon or whatever. We're happy people.

But college doesn't prepare you for anything, even being successful in your career.

Here's what college didn't prepare me for:

*the pervasiveness of sexual harrassment and discrimination within the media (I worked in the broadcast newsroom and am now in a print newsroom)

*juggling a successful career (or, uh, two), a marriage and children

*remembering important dates -- family members birthdays as an example -- when scheduling work stuff

*thinking I've done something freaking fantastic only to be told that it is not freaking fantastic

*how to make friends

*crock pots are important

*OMG! Vacations are more important!

*but when you take a vacation, people will try to steal your job-cred while you're gone

And more. More over, I'm not sure college is supposed to teach you those things. Well, maybe about the freaking sexual harrassment and discrimination that are so deeply ingrained in our society, but, other than that, would I have really listened to any of my professors if they had said, "Well, sometimes you're going to fail." Hell no. I was gung-freaking-ho in college. I was the bees knees. No one was going to keep me down. I was going to rise to the top in short order. I wasn't going to take more than the minimum for maternity leave if I ever had children. Hell, I wasn't even going to get married.

Perhaps that biggest thing that I learned in college is that college means very little in the grand scheme of a life well-lived. I have good memories, but nothing compared to what I have created since.

I wish you the best of luck in coming to your realizations about college, failure, success and life as a whole.

Contributing Editor Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom )) blogs at Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com ). She is a freelance writer and newspaper photographer.

I, too, struggle with this success thing. I started college as a dance major and was told to switch to something more lucrative. I did and ended up in a series of marketing and advertising jobs. THEN... had four kids - and with childcare so expensive, I stayed at home. I'm still here (youngest 2) - writing, blogging, taking classes, volunteering, etc. I often feel like I'm spinning my wheels UNTIL I remember that, while working and making "good" money, I was still looking, wondering, exploring - trying to find what I really wanted to do and NOW I see this lull (or how I've been perceiving it) as good - as an opportunity to become the best... whatever - fledgling pastry chef, freelance writer, gardening expert, closet clothes designer -whatever!

Anyway - hubby and I are younger than some of our peers (why did you guys have kids so young?) - older than others and (why did you guys have kids so old? ;-).... quite like being in the middle. He is a former "band guy" - me a dancer - now.... we are parents and we work, but... kinda / sorta see all these new beginnings / lack of success in one area / great success in another as adventures - life-affirming in that we didn't get stuck in the party trend when we were young or the mini van trend when we transitioned to.... um... not college partiers anymore.

I guess all this is learned through experience. You sound like you're appropriately introspective BUT listening to others a bit. Stay your personal path :-)!

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