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My life sucks
It's 2:40am and my roommate is so loud
But I wouldn't have slept anyways and honestly I don't give a shit about noise
I just wanna study
Why can't I study?
Why am I so messed up?
Why am I on this internet?
What am I having a breakdown?
What went wrong?
I had 97percent average in high school at one time
I had a dream
I was ambitious
Now what?
I'm doing nothing all day
I'm on the internet cursing about life
What happened?
I just wanna be able to study
I just wanna enjoy studying like I used to
I have no desire to do anything whatsoever
I try to pretend that my life is perfect
but my life is empty and it's not a life at all
I just feel like such a fart
I just wish that there was a way to feel such an emotional release
but I don't know how
People stress me out. Exercise isn't good enough
Eating makes me fat. Coffee doesn't do it.
Movies are stupid. Books are stupid. Self-harm and drugs are stupid
I just don't know what to do
I wish that I was in love with something
Maybe with a person or a celebrity or whatever
I like perfumes but there's not enough passion for it
I like stuff but there isn't anything I'm passionate about
I don't care about humanity
I used to care
Everything went wrong since my graduation dinner in high school
I missed the father-daughter dance because of my stupid boyfriend
Ugh that's a stupid reason to be a mess
Why?
Why is this happening to me
I pray to God but he doesn't care
What can I do?
I can't even cry because I don't even have enough emotions
I'm on diet and I didn't eat much but I don't feel good
I feel crappy
I don't see my mother anymore but it doesn't make me happy
Why is this happening?
I read books to find answers but there's nothing that I don't know already
I feel dead
Life is supposed to be precious but my life sucks
I just wanna go to a mountain and just live there all by myself with nature
and eat fruits and chop wood for living
but I actually don't want that
Here I stand
I can do no other
God help me
I'm gonna read the Bible
