I went on a Silent Date.

Introduction:

Valentine’s Day is the next shitass holiday drugstores are telling us to get excited about.

Grandma too, she even says “Caila I wish you’d advertise yourself on the Internet and find a man before it’s too late.”

I have been single for a VERY LONG TIME. 

I’ve become set in my ways, like a lonely old woman with her cats minus the age, minus the cats.

I honestly don’ t even know if I could DO being With somebody at this point.

But in the name of this upcoming so-called-holiday, in the name of The Church of Walgreens, in the name of human need for ritual being brilliantly reduced to sheer profanity, I am gonna go ahead and give it the good old college try!

Quick song edit, Quick routine atop the refrigerator:

Experiment #1:

Just posted an ad on Craigslist as Follows.

“Performance Artist Seeking Experimental Date Prior to Valentine’s Day. - 230

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Reply to: ……@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-01-09, 12:55AM PST

Let’s meet for brunch. On this date, we must not exchange a single word except to the waiter/waitress for the ordering process. I suppose we can draw [wholesome] pictures for each other to communicate.

Send me a photo, I’ll send mine. “

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