I Will Not Censor Myself and Updates on Life
Today was my second day at work. It was easier than yesterday. Getting up in the morning to an alarm for a specific reason seems strange. Since Finley died, I've pretty much done what I want and when I want to.
I think being at work is helpful so far. I find myself enjoying the job and asking a lot of questions. I am interested in it and it's nice to be learning something new.
It is also incredibly hard. I feel guilty for having a distraction. I feel horrible that this is another milestone that brings me further away from Finley. I wish so much that this isn't my life. I wish that instead of being woken up by my alarm to go to work, I was being woken up by his cries because he is hungry.
It's been nearly a week now since I met with the consultant. It feels like we spent 5.5 months coming to terms with something, only for it to change, and it feels like we have to start all over again. I actually feel sick when I think of what happened......
Finley Arthur Sissons 23/03/2012 - 26/03/2012
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