Dating the Cray Crays: What Happens When You Ignore Red Flags
By thisblogisepic on November 07, 2013
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Today is a big day for me. It’s my two year blog-iversary. Two years ago today, I was sitting in my living room in an awful apartment writing about my wretched first (and ONLY) date with the clingiest boy I’ve ever met. I had lunch with a good friend, and she pretty much told me that I needed to start writing this stuff down. “Some day you’ll write a book,” she said. “And I’ll be the first to buy it, and you can sign it.” As it stands, that’s absolutely the plan. I am going to write a book, and I am going to sign it for anyone who wants me to.
Since then, I’ve had many entertaining stories to tell. I haven’t blogged them all. I would like to share a few highlights and some RED FLAGS!! with you on this day, to commemorate my two-year blogiversary.
For those who weren’t around at the beginning, I think RED FLAG is pretty self-explanatory, but at the same time, I don’t want confusion. These are the things that pop up right away and tell me to bail. Sometimes I listen, sometimes I don’t. Normally, the longer I ignore the RED FLAG feeling, the funnier the story is, ha ha ... but at the same time ... well … just read.
I took a brief hiatus from online dating for a while, and decided to work on contented singleness. I really haven’t had much success with this at all in my past, though I’m doing much better right now than I think I ever have.
Being content makes these stories a lot easier to laugh at, but they’re still RIDICULOUS.
I’ve spoken to one guy from Toronto who messaged me back in 2009, and we did not hit it off. He forgot he’d spoken to me, and when I reminded him and told him I was still not interested, he called me closed-minded and accused me of being unwilling to change. Awesome sauce, right there!
I’ve received a slew of emails from guys in their 50s in the States whom I would repeatedly tell I wasn’t interested because I don’t want to date guys older than my dad, and I don’t want to date across the border. They’re usually quite indignant about that … which might be a RED FLAG in and of itself.
I talked to a guy for six months … but nothing panned out. He seemed rather normal, though, which is not at all the norm here. No Red Flags here. I liked him, it just wasn’t meant to be, I guess.
But I continue, and soon you’ll see why sometimes I seriously believe that I’m just paying for book fodder.
Don’t worry, though, this seems pretty boring so far — I’m getting to the good stuff.
I had a conversation that goes exactly like this … I could not make this up.
lover (no joke — it’s the guy’s screen name, numbers omitted … RED FLAG): “you want 2 kids, but I want like 4 :O”
me: Really? That’s all you caught out of my profile?
lover: I love kids …
4 would be lots of chaos, problems, keep me on my toes …
me: Good luck with your chaos, problems, and posture.
lover: thanks! you are in education, I would guessed you are used to these things and can’t live without them.
me: I said good luck because I’m not interested in pursuing this. Good luck in your search.
lover: Hahaha When I pursue a Canadian born woman, I will make sure she will be very beautiful, righteous, intelligent, and has a great heart!
This guy just screams RED FLAG! Wanting chaos and problems? That’s not exactly my wish for my life.
Here’s another real winner …
After reading his profile that is ENTIRELY in caps lock and discovering that he lives in France, I sent the following reply.
me: Hi, Thanks for your interest, but I have no interest in dating outside of Canada at this time. I don’t see that kind of a distance to be feasible for me.
Also — just a thought … please hit the “caps lock” key on your keyboard to turn off the caps lock … it’s hard to read and it looks like you’re screaming.
Good luck in your search, I wish you all the best.
And I got back …
GREETING FROM MY HUMBLE HEART, THEY THAT DWELL IN THE SECREAT PLACE OF THE MOST HIGH SHALL ABIDE UNDER THE SHADOW OF THE ALMIGHTY;nice to hear from you and thanks for your reply,but please blessed one i really believe that theres no distance in love and if we all agree and undertand each other we can surely make our dating to work because with God all things are possible and also we can do all things through christ who strengthens us PHILIPIANS 4:13.THANK YOU FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING AND HOPE TO HEAR FROM U SOON .HAVE A BLESSED DAY
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