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Sparkle (1)
Leo and I had such a lovely day together -- a pleasant day, a day a "neurotypical" (not autistic) kid might grumble about, running errands and going on outings. Leo was a great sport and good company. But I suspect we may have looked odd to anyone unaware of Leo's challenges, or who doesn't know how much effort Leo, his family, and all the dedicated professionals and educators who have worked with him over the past seven years have put into supporting him, into helping him look merely quirky rather than out of control.
So, theoretical observer, let me interpret for you, in case you are curious when you see kids like Leo out and about, and wonder what is going on with that funky kid and his or her parents. Let me elaborate for you, explain to you just how successful our boy's day was.
At the Soccer Field
We started our day accompanying five-year-old Mali while her team took soccer pictures, as Seymour was at another park watching their big sister Iz play her own soccer game. We were surrounded by lots of yabbering small children. I held Leo's hand the whole time, which might look funny as he is obviously not a small child himself. Why do I hold his hand? Because it makes it less likely that he will bolt. Because noisy, swarming little kids sometimes make him skittish, and holding my hand can help him feel calm. It also prevents him from engaging in his latest stim: spinning and stomping:
While we were waiting for Mali to stop making faces at the camera, I introduced Leo to several parents of kids who knew Mali. After I told Leo each parent's name, he replied on his own, "Hi, 'Name.'" This elicited big smiles of delight from several parents who knew of Leo but had never really talked to him before, and didn't realize what a friendly, polite kid he is. Successes:
- Leo didn't bolt.
- Leo didn't stim.
- Leo waited with me during a non-preferred activity for 30 minutes, without getting impatient.
- Leo didn't treat the small kids like the bowling pins to his bowling ball. No one was scared of him, much less hurt by him.
- Leo spontaneously inserted correct names in a social greeting with eye contact and an appropriate response to a social question.
What we need to work on: Spinning and stomping. I'm worried that this is an OCD behavior. It's time for us to visit his behavioral psychiatrist anyhow, to monitor his blood sugar levels and liver function (Risperdal being a black box med that requires periodic screenings) so I will ask about the behavior then.
At the Coffee House
After Mali's pictures, we went to our wonderful local, autism parent-owned coffee shop, Cocoa Java, to wait for Seymour and Iz. Leo spied bagels in the display case the moment we entered the cafe, but I asked him and Mali to sit down at a table and wait while I ordered their food. The person working the counter had a workflow pattern slightly incompatible with child patron happiness -- she handed me their plated donuts, but then went off to make my single-drip coffee before taking my money. So. I had to wait at the counter with the kids' food until the barista finished up, as any donuts I put down on their table would be inhaled instantly, and then there would be impatience while I drank my own coffee -- when it finally arrived.
While I was waiting, Leo asked me for bagels several times, from across the cafe, in his standard request format, "Want a bagel, please?" That might have appeared odd to another patron, my son's continuing to ask me for a bagel after I'd already told him no. But for Leo, it was a form of self-soothing and processing -- he really wasn't going to get a bagel, that blew, and he had to deal. Eventually the coffee appeared, I sat down, and we all enjoyed our coffee house treats.
Successes:
- Leo waited calmly for a highly-preferred food item, without me sitting next to him, and without taking out his frustrations on the little sister who was sitting with him.
- He accepted that another highly-preferred food item would not be coming his way, even though he could see it, right there in that display case.
- He did not lost his shit completely and cause a scene over #1 or #2.
After a while,
