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I'm Kate. I blog at picklebums.com I'm married and we have four 'picklebums'  - Zoe and Izzy (who are 7 and ID twins), Muski (who is three and n...
 
 
 
 

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The Idiot Box and Us: Decisions About TV

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For a long time I’ve held the view that TV is not great for kids. I still hold that view, but lately I’ve been reassessing how TV works in our family.

Ella Enchanted
Zoe's (7 years old) current favorite movie -- Ella Enchanted. Photo courtesy Disney.


The nickname "idiot box" well describes how I feel TV and kids generally get along. You plonk a child in front of the TV and all you’ll get is a stagnant, vacant, dumbed down version of what was once an active, bright, spunky, individual. There are so many other, better, things kids could be doing.

But if I believe TV is not good for kids then do I believe it is not good for adults also?

I like watching TV occasionally. I don’t feel like it is a terrible thing for me to be doing, but I often feel like it is a terrible thing for my children to be doing. Isn't that a double standard? Is TV just bad in general?

I asked this question of my Facebook friends and got some fabulous, thought provoking, replies which really helped me pin down my own thoughts on the subject.

In many ways I think TV is bad for everyone: big, small, or somewhere in between.

The mindless, zombie that often (but not always) occurs in front of the TV is not a positive thing for adults or children. All of us would probably be better off reading a book, or going outside, or chatting with a friend. Television can also be oddly addictive and terribly anti social.

Of course it is an individual thing, some people (children included) seem more easily engrossed in television, whereas others can take it or leave it. However, a big difference between adults and children when it comes to watching television is that adults are better equipped to make sense of what they are seeing and better able to self-regulate what they watch and how much they watch.

So where does that leave me and TV?

Of late there has been an awful lot of TV watching creeping into our lives. The Three Year Old has been requesting to watch a DVD the second we get in the door from dropping the girls at school, and with a small baby and a To Do List a mile long, I’ve been letting him. He is much more prone to zombie TV watching than his sisters, and will happily lie on the couch and watch for long stretches of time without saying a word to anyone. Now while that means I get a lot done without a little helper in tow, I don’t like it.

The girls (who are seven) have also been watching more TV than usual, sometimes coming home from school and watching ABC 2 (a Australian TV channel that runs preschool children's programming during the day without advertisements) until I drag them away and make them wash or eat. It doesn’t feel right to me, and I’ve been feeling guilty about it.

I’ve been pondering whether I should just ban the television all together. But surely that makes me, a person who has a TV in her bedroom, who enjoys an hour or so of TV each night to help my brain stop buzzing and worrying and whirring… surely banning my children from watching TV makes me somewhat of a hypocrite?

And then suddenly the light bulb went on.

I use TV as a tool… I control the television. I use it to my advantage, so why can’t I also do that for my children? They enjoy watching TV to wind down and veg out just as I do, and I am ok with that, in small amounts, and at certain times of the day. In fact, that could work for all of us.

So now my children are able to watch an hour or so of television before dinner. It’s that frantic time of day when I am trying to get dinner finished and tidy up and get everyone washed and ready to eat. It’s the time of day when we are all tired and narky; fights break out at the drop of a hat, and I yell way way too much. It’s a time of day when I think a little vegging out in front of the TV isn’t such a bad thing. It’s a time when TV can work for us in a positive way rather than a negative, guilt inducing way.

They don’t always watch TV. Sometimes they are too busy doing other things, but they know

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purpleheather79 5 pts

That's how we do it! I use TV when I need time to cook or get something done quickly. While I'm making dinner, I feel that TV is wonderful. The rest of the time, I do feel as though we are better off without it. We lived TV-free before, but that was back when I only had one or two children and it was never missed. To go TV-free now? I don't think I could do it. But I love your line of thinking... I hope I can feel less guilty about our TV time by thinking of it as a useful tool.

Heather

Multiple Multiples Mama of 6 Kids-Two Pairs & Two Spares

http://www.itstwinsanity.com

katef 5 pts

Yes weather plays a part in things here too... though usually we watch more TV in the summer when it is just too hot to go outside or do much of anything.

My kids can be so rough on their things too... I wish I had a magical way to make them take more care, even taking away things doesn't seem to help my lot...

www.picklebums.com ( http://www.picklebums.com ) - Blogging about life on the Pickle Farm in rural Australia. Art for Kids, cooking, gardening, the craziness of four small children and more!

JennaHatfield 10 pts

We watch more TV in the winter. Plain and simple. I can only play so many board games per day or build the same puzzle over and over.

That said, we're watching decidedly less at the moment as the boys broke (another) DVD and I took away their DVDs. There is no cable access downstairs (where the playroom is) and I only allow the TV upstairs to play kids programming while I'm making dinner (such a life saver, isn't it). So, they're out of luck right now. But I'm REALLY upset with how they've been treating DVD's. So, they're going without for right now.

Contributing Editor Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom )) blogs at Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com ). She is a freelance writer and newspaper photographer.

katef 5 pts

I think you hit the nail on the head... you have to make TV work for your own particular kids/family.

www.picklebums.com ( http://www.picklebums.com ) - Blogging about life on the Pickle Farm in rural Australia. Art for Kids, cooking, gardening, the craziness of four small children and more!

katef 5 pts

I have the same problem with my DH - the first thing he'll do to relax is to plonk down on the couch and turn on the TV, which is fine, except for when what he is watching is not ok for the kids to watch!

www.picklebums.com ( http://www.picklebums.com ) - Blogging about life on the Pickle Farm in rural Australia. Art for Kids, cooking, gardening, the craziness of four small children and more!

katef 5 pts

It's so interesting to read your perspective... My twins watch TV very differently to our three year old and I've often wondered if that is part of his personality or partly because he'd seen more TV at an earlier age than his sisters...

www.picklebums.com ( http://www.picklebums.com ) - Blogging about life on the Pickle Farm in rural Australia. Art for Kids, cooking, gardening, the craziness of four small children and more!

katef 5 pts

It was after we had our last baby that the TV hours crept up as well. I was beating myself up over that for a while but really, with a small baby in the house, you do what you have to do to get by most days :)

www.picklebums.com ( http://www.picklebums.com ) - Blogging about life on the Pickle Farm in rural Australia. Art for Kids, cooking, gardening, the craziness of four small children and more!

crousehaus 5 pts

I'm not a tv person. I occasionally watch Top Gear with my husband or a movie but other than that, I just don't. My kids LOVE tv. My oldest didn't watch any until he was about 2 and then it was Sesame every day. As they've grown, they wanted more variety. They watch about an hour most days after homework is done. They are the type of kids that really would stay parked in front of the darn thing all day if I allowed it, so I have the 1 hour limit on weekdays. One Friday nights we have family movie night, so they watch a bit more. That works for us. They are both excellent readers and do well in school, so I guess a little bit of age-appropriate tv isn't so bad.

Grace@Haven 5 pts

You hit the nail right on the head. As long as any of us are choosing to use tv for entertainment, and we are able to choose to walk away from it, it works in small increments.

But you're right---children often lack the skills to say "too much" or "too scary", and they very much need an adult to guide them through that. Sounds like you're doing a good job being the guide. :)

theoutcast 5 pts

Before my son turned two he did not watch any tv but when he turned two I needed time to search for a job so for a couple of months he was watching far more than I wanted him too. He goes to school all day so t.v. in the evening (and morning) is a nice treat for him.

We are having a problem with dad's entertainment however.His dad will not watch gory or gruesome things with him but my 3 year old loves the robot destruction of movies like Avatar, Terminator (the new one). I would have never allowed it but he's not a violent or impulsive kid and it's turned out okay for him to see those movies.

My husband is bad about leaving the t.v. on. When he isn't home, I watch news that my sons doesn't care about while we play or turn it off and we listen to music.

T.V. can be used constructively but I have also seen a young child refuse playing with other kids to watch it -- for hours. That's kind of the litmus test that a kid may have had too much.

Heather blogs about Motherhood & Other Offensive Situations at http://www.ultimateoutcasts.com.

grannysu 5 pts

My older 4 sons (now 37-41) were raised without television. They are readers, thinkers, and listeners. My youngest (24) watched TV a lot in his childhood--I'd gone to work full time and he was with a sitter. He took longer to learn to read, had difficulty focusing on tasks, has anxiety disorder and is graphics-oriented instead of print-oriented. I can't say that television was the culprit entirely, but I am certain it played a role. When he left home we removed the TV and haven't looked back. Grandchildren were shocked at first, but now love it that there's no TV in the house.

I think you hit on something here--using TV as a tool, and to work for you rather than you struggling against it. That sounds like a sound approach.

Granny Sue Stories from the Mountains and Beyond www.grannysu.blogspot.com ( http://www.grannysu.blogspot.com ) susannaholstein@yahoo.com

ltorres78 5 pts

I commend those who can get by without tv. My twins used to only watch maybe 30 min to an hour a day, but that increased when i was put on semi bedrest with my 3rd. It broke my heart. And then when #3 was born, I needed to keep them occupied while I nursed her and got her put down for naps.

Now that #3 is almost 10 months, I try to only use it as a tool as well. I usually put on Sesame Street when she goes down for her AM nap, to keep the twins quiet, and so I can clean up the breakfast mess that is usually still in the kitchen. Ot I sit with them and enjoy my coffee. OR we all three play together or do an activity. It really just depends on the day and their mood. We also usually have to turn it on during that time when I am having to feed the baby, make dinner, and wait for Daddy to get home.

Of course there are also exceptions. Weird days when they are just antsy and bored, and nothing I try will make them happy, and it's too hot/cold to go outside. Non napping days when we just need to veg on the couch and watch a movie. It happens. :)