If Elected as Your Boss, I Promise To…

It’s Election Day – FINALLY!  I, for one, will be thrilled when the campaigning ends and we can get back to what’s really important in TV land: dancing, singing and real housewives.  I mean really, with all of this campaigning there’s been almost zero news about the Kardashian’s lately.  Surely there’s some new scandal in their lives. 

For the last however many months, all we’ve heard is mostly polite arguing, with each side trying to prove the other wrong.  And don’t get me started on the debates.  Hubby and I tried to take notes as we listened and watched, hoping to see a real strategy, with clear objectives and defined tactics that could be executed as soon as the inauguration takes place.   I know, I know.  That would be a miracle.  It seems like we elect people who are the least offensive, but not necessarily the best.  Some sort of cynicism must set in since we’ve heard the promises before, and know that the elected party doesn’t always make good on those promises.

All this campaigning and promise-making got me thinking: what would happen if we could elect our bosses at work?  What if they had to be accountable to us, outlining their strategic plans, objectives and tactics, knowing full-well that if they didn’t deliver as promised we, the employees, not the board of directors, might vote them out at the next election?  Sounds interesting to me.

I can see it now: signs would be plastered all over the conference rooms, the elevators, the break room and cafeteria.  HR would have to step in to control the amount of buttons and other campaign materials handed out at the office.  No work would get done as lobbying for votes would be in full-effect, with each boss candidate promising more than the other.  One would offer higher salaries, the other would offer more vacation time.  Both would offer shorter work weeks as well as the privilege of wearing shorts and flip-flops to the office.  I imagine a campaign speech to go something like this:

Trust me with your vote - I’ve been in your flip-flops! The customers are cranky, the hours are long and I feel your pain! The office space is cramped, the conference rooms are few and the air is either too hot or too cold.  I know what it’s like to be working at a low-level, without an opportunity to rise to the top.  OK, maybe I haven’t actually been in your flip-flops because as a boss I don’t wear those, but I know someone who knows someone that’s been there.  Anyway, if elected as your boss, I promise to remove the cranky customers and reduce your working hours.  Well, maybe I’ll just have a nice chat with the customers; after all we need them, even if they are cranky. And I promise to at least pretend to look into reducing work hours.  More importantly, no more generic coffee in the break rooms! I’ll hire trained baristas to make fancy coffee drinks for your enjoyment.  Actually, maybe the entire department can be cross-trained as baristas, with each of you taking a different day of the week to make the coffee drinks.  See? I’ve already improved working conditions by adding barista experience to your resume!  Each employee will get a personal fan and space heater to control air temperature.  You may work long hours, but at least you’ll have control over your cubicle temperature.  See, I know how to make your work life better.  Trust me!

After all the speeches were said and the campaigning done, we’d get to vote for the person we’d prefer to have as our boss for the next couple of years.  And if that person didn’t keep his or her campaign promises, we would have the luxury of letting them know we will not re-elect them as boss next time around.  Wow – I can feel the power already!  But really, do I want to have to do this all the time? 

All kidding aside, I take voting for elected officials – especially the President – very seriously. So does Hubby. We stood in line with about a hundred others during early voting, to make sure our voices were heard.  With all the mud-slinging – I mean, campaigning – going on, sometimes you wonder if it’s worth the effort.  Having been to countries dominated by men, where you have to dip your finger in ink to vote, Hubby and I know that this is a privilege that too few in the world are granted.

I hope you take a moment today and vote, if you haven’t already.  It’s worth the time.

Read more at my blog on www.talesoftheterminated.com

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