If I Had My Own Talk Show...
Does everyone get a talk show nowadays. People I have never even heard of have a talk show. Tyra Banks is giving out advice left and right about child rearing, marriage, health and what did she do for the past fifteen years? Oh, she was a model. Is she married? Does she have kids? Does she have a medical or journalism degree? No, you say. I am thinking I too am qualified for hosting a show. I can dress nice and talk. Apparently that is the only requirement.
If I could host my own talk show, everyone in the the audience would get a tiara or crown. This is how I roll. If I become a millionaire then they will all get castle keychains and subscriptions to Vogue. The studio would be decorated with purple and silver. Hey, I am thinking I could pull this off.
I would very much want to interview a few people. I would host a show on various topics and have special guest. The first show titled, Irritating Celebrities, my featured guest would be Tiger Woods. We would allow his wife on, after frisking her(of course) for golf irons. She should get in on this also. I don’t believe in violence but would think it appropriate to be able to shoot some guest with say, a kids dart gun, whenever they displease the me.
It would be very much like the Gong Show. Whenever a guest bombs, I could shoot him or her with a dart. This would be great You Tube footage and I believe it would also help with my menopause symptoms. I am thinking that one week we could have all of the Kardashian women on and Bruce. We can let Bruce use the dart gun. I am sure by now he would want to.
“Bruce, put the dart gun now that it enough…”
“Who does your cosmetic surgery?”
“Do you not have ANY control over these women?”
“Put the dart gun back down, now ENOUGH!”
Stay tuned! Next week the queen will interview Brad, Angelina and all the kiddies. This would be much better reality television than any producer has ever come up with and I think Geraldo would be green with jealousy! Joan Rivers could be my guest host, when I am vacationing. Hey, this could work!
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