If the magazines can do it, why can't we? Photoshop THIS, Faux Weekly!

When I was younger, I wanted to be a model. I even went so far as to attend one of those multi-tiered marketing programs that handed out hollow promises of fame and fortune for the low, low price of $500 a head shot. Like most women, I've had my share of ups and downs in the beauty department. While some days, my skin is as milky smooth as a bar of white chocolate; other days it looks more like the worn out leather interior of the '98 Saab convertible we got rid of four years ago.

When I read the article that Meredith Carroll published with Babble last month, it was almost like getting a second chance at being pretty. I mean, who wouldn't want to edit their face after being tagged at a party on Facebook? Let's forget the fact that I'm pushing 50 and my hair looks like an S.O.S. Pad after cleaning a pan full of burnt Lasagna; with proper training and a little bit of creativity, there is still hope for me! I'd be lying if I said I've never smudged out a bad face day, but I really had no idea how much editing went into those magazine ads until I saw this video. Wait... You mean I can flatten my ass without all that extra Cardio?

Sure I can crop, erase, smudge and filter with the best of them–but who am I really fooling? The jig is up the second we meet for drinks and the light catches an elaborate garden of wrinkles surrounding the tiny holes that used to be my eyes. "Wow, Lisa... You must have a really nice camera!" *Tears falling*

It's sad to think that my daughter might wake up one day and think she's ugly, fat–or simply not good enough. What if she wants to look like one of those underweight models that end up snorting coke in order to keep food on the table that she'll probably never eat? What if she's delusional enough to believe that the button on her undersized jeans won't shoot across the room when she sits down next to a hot guy at Starbucks? And how am I supposed to respond when she asks for a Botox party for her sweet 16 instead of a car? Oh, for the love of vanity... Please don't ever let her be that girl!

You'd have to be a fool to think that ugly would sell more than pretty, but which one of us decides who's who, and why do we go to such extremes to become that other person? Just because some pencil dick in a Ted Baker suit has a thing for women that look like twelve-year-old boys? Enough already!

Thankfully, my daughter has never second-guessed her beauty, but one day I'm sure she will; and don't kid yourself–so will yours. I think it's high time we stop pretending to be who we aren't and teach our kids that it's ten times better to be exactly who we are. And ten years from now; when they hold their heads up high because they like who they've become; it will be awfully hard for anyone else not to notice what's really there... 

A true beauty–not that store bought shit full of empty hope.



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