As if my life wasn't awkward enough...Thanks a lot, Facebook.

Dearest Facebook,

I love you.  I do.  You know that.  But lately it seems that you’ve been going to great lengths to make my life even more awkward, which up until this point…I doubted was even possible.

You see, these “suggestions” that you make for “people I might know” really are not helping me.  In fact, they are typically in one of the following categories:  ex-boyfriends, an ex-girlfriend of my significant other, or someone who I know is on Facebook but have purposely avoided.  At this point in my life, I assume everyone is on Facebook until I’m told otherwise.  So again, if I wanted to be friends with these people, I would stalk them out and hit “add as friend”, like I have done with the rest.  OR, I wouldn’t have unfriended them in the first place (I’m cut throat like that).  So while I understand your intentions…they’re not entirely (or at all) appreciated.

I’m not sure whether to be annoyed or just plain offended that you think I don’t know 1) these people are on Facebook or 2) that I don’t know how to properly stalk.  Have I not proven my capabilities to you enough?  What more can I do?  (Answer: nothing, or I’ll fail out of school.)

While we’re having this conversation (one-sided as it may be), please stop questioning whether I really want to unfriend someone or change my relationship status.  I don’t need you second guessing me.

On the other hand, I do want to thank you for checking with me before actually adding someone as a friend and before poking them because that has prevented me from creating some really awkward situations.  It has also taught me that if the potential “are you sure you want to add so-and-so as your friend” question causes me to break out into a full body cold sweat, that I probably shouldn’t be looking at their page anyway.

Thanks again for all that you do.  Without you, I’d be extremely productive.

But seriously,  cut the crap and stop suggesting things for me.



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