If my wife gained weight… I’d cheat or leave. Am I wrong?

I defiantly don’t want to seem like a jerk when I say this, but I’ve always believed and held strong to the idea that if I married a woman who had a certain physical build when I married her and it changed into something else over time, I’d be driven to cheat or leave.

This would be my conclusion, for a couple of reasons.

I understand love in a marriage is unconditional… that I understand. But happiness is a condition of love and being attracted to someone for the rest of your life is a big part of happiness. So if you look at a marriage and break down what goes into loving someone, you could come up with hundreds of reasons as to why you’re in love.

“I love her personality, I love her dependability, I love how she has my best interest in mind, I love how she cares, I love how attractive she is, etc etc etc.” I love how attractive she is. Think about it… isn’t attraction one of the FIRST things evaluated when you meet someone? THEN comes the rest? Not to say that physical looks are everything, but if you think about the single life… how many people did you approach with in mind, “they’re not attractive, but I’ll still get to know them.” It doesn’t happen often. Could you really spend forever and be intimate with someone you are no longer attracted to?

Secondly, I’m a very physically fit person. I love running outside, eating healthy, going to the gym, and playing as many outdoor sports as possible. I couldn’t see myself being with someone who didn’t enjoy doing the same things that I did. For that reason, for my wife to become unphysically fit, she would have to give up these things that I enjoy. And that would also contribute to the motivation to be somewhere else… to make myself happy.

I guess what the conclusion that I’ve come to is that, I would always want to keep the reasons why I fell in love and married my wife prevalent. So as the same goes for me, I beg the question… “If the change is not for the better, and I didn’t want that when I married you, why would I want it after I married you”?

Am I wrong for that?

-shanhiggins.com

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