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Nicole Bonia writes the book blog, Linus's Blanket, focusing on literary fiction book reviews and recommendations from a wide variety of genres....
 
 
 
 

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Is Blog Lurking Really So Wrong?

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As a reader, I am always fascinated by the way that we use language, and the way our use of words color and provide context to our experiences. The words that we choose as our shorthand – categorizing people, their actions, and behavior – are very telling to me. There is one word in particular that I am sensitive about, probably because I often feel as if I am one of those so designated and condemned. Lurker. It sounds so sinister. As if someone is going to jump out of the bushes and do something; as if someone has been stalking you and following you around with your permission, as if there is some harmful intent, as if there should be a gigantic scarlet L on the lurker’s forehead.

I lurk on blogs. There, I said it! I read content and don’t leave any thoughts, feedback, useful criticisms or provide new and interesting avenues of discussion. I eavesdrop on conversations and then sneak away, directing my friends to those posts which we then discuss on our own. I sometimes act upon knowledge gleaned and conclusions drawn from those preyed upon posts. I steal away with book suggestions, often running off to buy them and many more by the same author and others I encounter on my buying spree. I visit blogs and bask in their charm, originality, creativity and intelligence – sometimes I am even inspired and answer that inspiration with a positive reaction … elsewhere. I visit the blogs of my friends and smile lovingly at their words but sometimes have neither the energy, presence of mind, or coherent thoughts to leave as evidence of my presence. Like I said, terrible!

Lurking is a term that I think of as specific to blogs. I don’t think “proper” websites worry about people “lurking” around their content and stealing away without even saying hello. They provide information and a service and hope that it translate into action, something that is quantifiable, but often on faith that their presence will lead to rewards -- which granted are not immediately quantifiable -- in the future.

It’s an odd thing to think about, but I think the term lurking and it being applied to blog READERS, says much more about certain styles of blogging, bloggers and our need for validation, and quite frankly … comments. The term indicates to me that it’s much less about those who are taking the time to read our blogs. Could we be projecting onto others a sketchy designation, even though we mostly do it “lovingly,” because we are not being fulfilled our need to be talked to, praised and patted on the back? Is lurker what we really want to call our faithful readers?

There are always a variety of ongoing arguments and difference of opinions that I observe in blogging communities, and in my particular home community of book bloggers -- a right way for people to run their blogs -- most of the time, it just goes in one ear and out the other, because for me, the beauty of blogs is that they are personal. I don’t think you should standardize them. I don’t think I should have a review policy, or a social media policy or participate in anything unless I feel it works for me and the goals of my blog. I have to trust my readers to determine for themselves whether I provide an experience which is worthy of their time -- which is a very precious resource.

A premise that drives me a little crazy is the one that measure comments as the sign of a blog’s worth. I think it contributes to this kind of crazy idea and resulting terminology where others are somehow actively doing something to me when they are “lurking” about my blog and not entering into the community aspect that can exist in blogging. The time constraints of life in general keep me in lurker mode for a great many things in life as a whole, and on far more blogs than I would like.

I enjoy readers who pop in frequently and infrequently when they have something to say, and it never bothers me that many others stop by everyday because they think (whether that proves to be true for them or not) that I might have something

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ReadingHasPurpose 5 pts

This is a great point. Sometimes, I get to a post late and it already has a crazy amount of comments. The reason I don't comment on them is because I don't think the author will pay it any attention and I almost always return back to the comments I post to see the author response.

http://www.readinghaspurpose.com

emilycsims 5 pts

I do the same thing. Sometimes I get intimidated by the amount of comments on a blog--if 53 people have commented, then what can I possibly add? Will they think I'm a moron for speaking up?

Sometimes I take a bit of social anxiety right into the blogosphere :)

I blog about books, life and writing at Check, please! ( http://www.emilycsims.com/blog )

Never book travel without a coupon code ( http://travelated.com/travel-deals )!

Elana Paige 5 pts

In commenting.... even if it's just a little "yeah girl"...

Feedback is golden.

"You've got readers" is as good as "You've got mail..." Still, hearing from readers is awesome...

As a writer, I get that...

primrosepetals 5 pts

Except, in a more elegant and profound way :)

I am guilty of being a "blog lurker," but it's funny that I came across this post today, because I just recently decided to become a more active reader. I think the reasoning behind my decision was that if a particular post or blog changed/effected my life, I wanted the writer to know. I want a way to thank them.

Consider it my own way of paying it forward, but just like their posts bring smiles to my face, I hope my kind words via comments puts a smile on theirs and inspires them to keep writing and doing what they're doing.

I'm still not all the way "there" and committed to commenting 100% (and I probably never will be), but so far, these baby steps - a comment here, a comment there - makes me feel as if my 2 cents are just as meaningful as the post itself.

Brava!

ReadingHasPurpose 5 pts

This is an interesting post. My blog has numerous followers but only a fraction of them comment. I always wonder, are they reading my posts? Do they not like what I have to say?

But once I started to think about it. I realized how many blogs I visit daily and never comment. I think I've finally realized that if I comment on someones blog, they will usually drop by and comment on mine at some point.

So I've tried to make it a habit. Do unto others..... :-)

http://www.readinghaspurpose.com

melindarp 5 pts

While I truly appreciate anyone stopping by my blog to see what's new, the nature of blogging often feels like a one-sided conversation to me: "Me, me, me, blah blah, me, me, me. Love, Me." I feel like the girl who could carry on a conversation with a mirror for hours.

For that reason I absolutely love to have feedback about my reader's own experiences, or some indication that there is a connection.

Well, for that reason, and my middle-child need for validation and ego stroking. Comments make me feel good. I love them.

But I confess, I don't always have something to say to every post I read. Sometimes my brain won't produce more than a smile or a "huh," and I would rather quietly slip away than say something insincere.

Elana Paige 5 pts

I can tell you, it feels so good as a writer to get feedback from readers... of course, good feedback is always the most fun, but the other kind is helpful, too, though sometimes painful. I've just started an online choose-your-own-path romance website, PassionsPath.com, and even though it's free and we have lots of members, barely anyone comments on what I post! A strange sensation to know that people are reading but not talking.

Still I guess that's better than neither reading nor talking!

Thanks for the post... it helps me understand where some of my PassionsPath.com readers might be coming from!

Judy Schwartz Haley 6 pts

I love my lurkers! Although I don't like the term "lurker"

While I adore comments, I really don't think readers should feel obligated to leave a comment. Reading my blog carries no obligations. Enjoy. Comment if you like, come back if you like. No guilt. No manipulation. No arm twisting.

It really bugs me when bloggers go off on their lurkers, makes me want to unsubscribe. It's really rude.

--------------------------------

Judy Schwartz Haley is currently battling breast cancer while raising her toddler daughter.  She is also a full time college student, as is her husband.  She blogs about it all at CoffeeJitters.Net ( http://coffeejitters.net/blog )

shawnsplate 5 pts

Prior to staring my blog, www.shawnsplate.com ( http://www.shawnsplate.com ), I lurked a whole lot! Since starting it less than a month ago, I've realized how important it is to leave comments. That's why I'm taking the time to post this comment.

BShallue 5 pts

Most of my readers are lurkers - I get very few comments on my blog and it bothered me for awhile, especially when I would see tons of comments on other blog posts that had been given very little thought. It's that craving for feedback, I suppose.
But most of my readers aren't bloggers, either.
Your post is reassuring - validation in its own way that just because someone doesn't leave a comment they might still like what I've written.
For my part, if I've taken the time to read someone's blog post, I'll usually spend those few extra seconds it takes to add a comment,if it's triggered something in me. It's the reading I don't always have time for.

Barbara Shallue writes about her life at http://barbarashallue.typepad.com, shares photos and information about photography at http://barbarashalluephotography.blogspot.com and is contributing editor of http://jobs4autism.com.

sassymonkey 6 pts moderator

Confession: I read this post when it was on your blog and didn't comment. There! I've outed myself!

I suspect many poeple lurk a lot. If I only read blogs that I commented on regularly I'd probably only read about 10 blogs.

Denise made a good point about sparkling posts you like on BlogHer. For posts not on BlogHer you can always tweet or share a link on Facebook. Or you could stumble the post on Stumbleupon so other people can find it. I think of it as being as a Fairy Blog-Mother. ;)

Contributing Editor Sassymonkey also blogs at Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca ).

MelysahBunting 5 pts

I love to lurk. I love to look at as many blogs as I can. I am more of a design freak. Placement of items, networks, template, etc. all fascinate me.

I write for the lurker. I know people are busy and are looking for quick info. I write short and sweet. If I need a biscuit recipe, I want to type "biscuit recipe," get it and go!

I take no offense to lurkers. I can see by my blog statistics that people do read my blog. I don't need comments to prove it.

MLOKnitting 5 pts

Usenet had lurkers.

Forums have lurkers.

All interactive technological sites have lurkers. It is not a new thing. It has always been expected, actually.

MLO / Melissa

Books, Movies, Games, Ovarian Cancer, and Life in General at http://www.mloknitting.com/

Nicole B. 5 pts

Time is probably the biggest issue that I have with commenting on blogs. I think we all just do the best we can.

Nicole

Linus's Blanket ( http://www.linussblanket.com )

aitch 5 pts

I comment when I can, but usually escape unseen. Or unheard, more like.

http://historyandshinythings.blogspot.com/

Denise 9 pts moderator

I know the word "lurk" and thus being a "lurker" sounds bad but really, it's not bad at all. It's good. I love lurkers! Lurk away! I do wish folks would unlurk a little and say "hi" - but if they can't, that's ok. I understand. I lurk a lot too.

As someone who has been encouraging lurkers to delurk in online communities for more than 10 years, I like the word. I think it's a good term to describe the folks who are quietly reading. I've never used it in any negative way at all. When I speak directly to lurkers and use the word (or some variation) I try to never do it in a way that would make them feel unappreciated or coerced into becoming visible. I just want to make sure the non-visible, non-vocal "lurker" knows he/she is welcome - whether it's just to say "hi" or to say something bigger or deeper or even angry.

I do love lurkers. And if you're there lurking and not making your presence known Hi! It's ok. I swear. Do what's comfortable for you. By the way, you can click that "Sparkle" link if you log in and quietly tell the author of the post that you were here. :-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager
Life. Flow. Fluctuate.

C_Girl 5 pts

I admit it--as a blogger I am greedy for comments. They make my day. But in addition to my own navel-gazing, I also read blogs compulsively, and have for years, and I can never figure out why some get so many comments and others virtually none.

It amazes me that the social cues that denote popularity translate even through this series of tubes--even to very casual readers, or folks who read only a tiny segment of blogs. Someone should figure out what magic fairy dust inspires comments, and sell it.

www.hilarity-in-shoes.com ( http://www.hilarity-in-shoes.com )

WritRams 5 pts

I also think it's just the blogging day and age we live in. I read many blogs, but don't always comment. Generally, because of a time factor. However, I may later share the topic on social networks, etc.

It's okay to lurk. We all do it. (There, I've said it, too.)
;)

Jacqueline Wilson (aka: WritRams) is a writer, blogger, educator, mother and wife. You can find her on her Writer Ramblings blog at www.WritRams.com ( http://www.writrams.com ) writing about a little of everything...maybe even you.