If You Don’t Make This, You Must Hate Everything Good In The World.

Unprofessional Cookery

Remember how the other night I ate that horrid water ice?  The crappy, artificially flavored frozen lemon and lime crap that would make anyone from the midatlantic states cringe?  I know, it was so long ago that it was probably erased from your memory, replaced by the minutiae of life and the closing of the Olympics.  But think hard, I did actually eat that stuff with reckless abandon.

After the molten lava colored cheek flush from the thousand layers of shame cooled, I became indignant.  Sure, I was miles away from the place that I really like to go for  water ice, but why should I have been placated with crappy artificial ice out of convenience?  Its water.  Frozen freaking water with sugar and stuff in it.  A hairless monkey could probably make that.

So this hairless monkey did just that- and hands down, it was the best water ice I’ve ever had.  Which is no small feat, considering that I come from an area non native to water ice and its lures.  And now you can too!
Lime Water Ice

Ingredients:

-3/4 cup fresh squeezed lime juice (about 6-7 large)

-3/4 cup sugar

-2 cups water

-Lime zest, to taste

How to:

1.  Wash your limes.  Using a vegetable peeler, remove the zest from a lime or two.  Be careful not to include the pith!

2. Juice all of your limes.  Pour it into a shallow pan.

3. Prepare a simple syrup using the water and sugar.  You don’t have to boil it, just make sure all the sugar is dissolved by heating it.

4. When the syrup is ready, also pour that into the shallow pan and stir.

5. Julienne your lime zest.  The quantity is up to you- use a little or use a lot.  (I used a lot as I like finding bits of rind in my ice.)  Add this to the shallow pan.

6. Pop everything into the freezer.  At half hour intervals, scrape the pan to break up the ice.  Freeze and scrape until there is no more liquid left in the pan but nothing is rock solid either.  Be sure to break up ice chunks so that everything is basically a hard slush.

7. Serve in a dixie cup, spoon optional, straw mandatory.
Grapefruit Water Ice

Ingredients:

-1 1/2 cups fresh squeezed lime juice (about  3 average sized ones)

-1 cup sugar

-3 cups water

-Grapefruit zest, to taste

-1 Tablespoon citric acid, optional

How to:

1.  Wash your grapefruit.  Using a vegetable peeler, remove the zest from one or two.  Be careful not to include the pith!

2. Juice all of your grapefruit.  Pour it into a shallow pan.

3. Prepare a simple syrup using the water and sugar.  You don’t have to boil it, just make sure all the sugar is dissolved by heating it.

4. When the syrup is ready, also pour that into the shallow pan and stir.

5. Taste the mix.  If you ended up with sweet grapefruit and you want a bit more kick, throw in the citric acid.  If you’re okay with where it is (or have REALLY tart fruit) leave it out.

6. Julienne your grapefruit zest.  The quantity is up to you- use a little or use a lot.  (I used a lot as I like finding bits of rind in my ice.)  Add this to the shallow pan.

7. Pop everything into the freezer.  At half hour intervals, scrape the pan to break up the ice.  Freeze and scrape until there is no more liquid left in the pan but nothing is rock solid either.  Be sure to break up ice chunks so that everything is basically a hard slush.

8. Serve in a dixie cup, spoon optional, straw mandatory.

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