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I write Stirrup Queens when I'm not reading other people's blogs, cooking, or chasing after my twins. I'm the author of two books: Life from Scratch,...
 
 
 
 

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Our Daughters' Choices: If You Let Me Play Sports

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Back in 1995, there was a Nike commercial popularly known as "If You Let Me Play Sports," which featured girls reciting the statistics associated with female participation in athletics. If the assertions are true, your parents hopefully got your ass onto a field at some point because women are 60 percent less likely to get breast cancer, more likely to leave an abusive relationship, and less likely to experience an unwanted pregnancy if they do.

Unless you count running, I've never been much of an athlete. I'm more of the just-grateful-to-be-picked variety when they were doling out the teams at camp. I don't know the rules of most games, therefore, I don't really watch sports either. I'm happy enough to be dragged to a baseball game, but again, it's more that I like being part of something than eager to follow the game. I am more likely to daydream the secret lives of the players than to focus on how many people are on base when a certain player comes to bat.

I wanted things to be different for my daughter, mostly because my mind was influenced by that 1995 commercial and the unspoken message that runs beneath it: If you don't have your daughter on the playing field, she is going to be shit out of luck in the self-esteem department and suffer from depression.

So far, my daughter's obsession with ballet has eaten up all the time that could have been dedicated to a team sport. She just started gymnastics, though her interest in gymnastics seems to stem from the fact that the Berenstain Bears take gymnastics. I'm not sure what will happen with that activity if the bears, let's say, decided their time was better spent studying organic chemistry.

Though, when we were watching the Olympics, she'd turn to me and shiver with excitement as the women went hurtling down the ice trail on their luge. "I would never want to do that, but I loooooooooooooooooooove watching it!"

But is that close enough to letting her play sports?

*******

With the exception of when the object of her affection, Shani Davis, was on the screen, my daughter wanted to exclusively follow the women's events. I taped her the men's half-pipe, and she watched it for a few minutes before asking me where the girls were.

The one exception to the rule was a certain male snowboarder that she informed me may look male but is "all woman."

I'm not sure I love this route either -- the exclusive desire to support female athletes at the expense of any male athletes. What about balancing it out and supporting the most exciting athletes, the ones that bring the most interesting messages to their game?

She wanted me to fast-forward past Apolo Ohno, Steve Holcomb, and Evan Lysacek, craving Lindsay Vonn, Noelle Pikus-Pace, and -- since she can get pretty indiscriminate as long as the person had a vagina -- any woman whose costume involved sequins and turquoise.

*******

I love this quote from Johnny Weir, which he stated to explain the fact that his parents never pressured him to conform:

"Every step of my life, it's been one thing my parents had preached to my brother and I (sic). You must always be yourself and always enjoy what you are doing and take no prisoners. You can't care what anyone else thinks because really there is no basis for that in your life. You have to live your life for yourself. So even when I was little I was playing on a soccer team and running the complete opposite way pretending to be a zebra, an ostrich or something. So I have always been like this."

Say what you wish about Johnny Weir -- I think he has a healthy attitude, and it would serve kids well to have a quote of the day calendar spouting his ideas. The people who call him the Lady Gaga of skating sort of miss his point, which is that each person is unique and should never conform, instead following their bliss wherever it takes them without regard to how it comes across to others. All people, insofar as personality, are incomparable because unique beings should have no comparison. Johnny Weir is no more the Lady Gaga of the skating world than Lady Gaga is the Johnny Weir of music.

Hearing his quote made me rethink the idea of letting girls play sports, because

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kaherbert 5 pts

It is establishing the foundation of a healthy life style including following your heart.

My sister is an athlete. One fall someone asked my parents why they didn't "let" me play soccer like sis. So next spring they are ready to sign me up for softball.

I put my foot down hard. No I'm not playing softball. They asked why - and I told them. I might get a good coach like Daddy and Uncle J and B. Or I might get a bad one like Uncle P or school coach.

Mom told me later she learned three things from that
1. I had learned and was applying the most important lesson - Stand up for yourself.

2. She needed to call the principal again about the school coach.

3. She was going to have a few words with her baby brother. (We lived in different countries)

My parents recognized I was not going to enjoy team sports outside of a trusted group of people. I have motor skill problems stemming from a skin condition and dysgraphia (an LD). If I was doing my best and still flubbed something, I would not stand for a teammate or coach yelling at me. I can't help it if the ball disappears at the top of the arch and reappears when it hits me on the head. I can't fix that.

SO while they took sis to soccer, softball, and track. They took me swimming, hiking, and biking. I learned early that I was happy if I did something just a little bit better each time I tried and to NOT compare myself to others.

I'm a bit more of a loner than my sister and most of my cousins. My family maintains I was an independent cuss long before the age of team sports - so it is probably my personality more than lack of team sports. (Example I apparently informed my Mom that if I had to use a cup - I wasn't wearing diapers. Refused to from that moment on - and was dry.

Melissa Ford 5 pts

But what do you do with the ambitious child?  The one who is dragging the parent to the traveling soccer team and eating and breathing the sport? 

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

Melissa Ford 5 pts

Those quotes are fantastic.  Who said the last one?  You?  Because that is awesome.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

Melissa Ford 5 pts

Could not stop laughing over this: "When someone wanted the ball, I basically handed it over and silently whispered "please don't hurt me."   I am the same way.

Yes, I agree, I definitely separate out the idea of physical activity every day from sports.  We go swimming daily in the summer, but I don't see that as a sport until they join the swim team or a similar organization.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

Jozet at Halushki 5 pts

necessarily just take sports of physical activity to learn discipline, etc. But again, the physical world - kinesthetic learning - is such a concrete way of tracking progress and that, yes, working hard at something = getting better at it = confidence and identity beyond just what you look like, what you're wearing, who you are in relation to which clique of kids at school.

I was never very athletic as a child. I took gymnastics once a week and did marginally well. I bombed at softball because I didn't have an older brother to teach me the skills to walk onto the field and know what I was doing.

Now, at 43 years old, I'm following my daughters' examples and working hard and setting goals and making my body do what I want it to do even as it is more and more telling me it has other ideas. And yet, it is possible. I landed a waltz jump on ice a few weeks ago after a year of skating. There's just something about  making my body "behave" that makes my mind behave and shows me very literally that I can be in control and through practice I can improve. Mastering the kinesthetic  - which I never thought I'd be able to do - has even given this old lady a reason to stand a bit taller. Not the only avenue for self-confidence, but for a woman whose body is challenging her more and more, it feels good to ocassionally still win some of those battles. It convinces me that I can win others, too.

Halushki.com

Jozet at Halushki 5 pts

one age 11 and one age 8, and our house rule - along with "brush your teeth, do your chores, learn to read and do math, play an instrument, make art - is "Do something in some physically coordinated way with your body at least three times a week."

After that, it's up to them what to choose: dance, yoga, martial arts, team sport, individual sport.

I've read all the research on how positive team sports can be for girls, but some girls - like my eldest - just didn't do well with team sports. Finally, she arrived at figure skating. My younger daughter plays soccer and does gymnastics. In the winter when they are driving us nuts, they go to conditioning training two nights a week to run around like crazy people (in a training session with mostly boys who are football/soccer/basketball kids), and occasionally they stumble into a dance class or a yoga class or a martial arts class.

My primary goal for them is this: physical fitness and a healthy body image that is based upon something other than looking a certain way. I require that they stick with any new activity for at least a few classes or months so that they can get beyond the basics, meet some real challenges, and learn that through work - not just raw talent - they can overcome those challenges.

Sometimes they compete. And sometimes they lose. And sometimes the losing is hard to take and doesn't feel fair (especially in a sport with sometimes subjective judging), but it gives us the opportunity to have conversations like this: http://www.halushki.com/2010/02/sports-parenting-c...

I don't push the competitions, but in a world in which girls are more likely to drop out of higher level classes and gifted education by middle school because they are more concerned about fitting in and not rocking all the social boats, I think that girls competing in the sports arena and - hopefully - still walking away friends or at least mutually respected and respectful adversaries who can appreciate similar hard work when they see it, will only carry over to academics in positive ways.

I particularly like sports and dance and yoga and exercise programs for all kids because both the physical challenges and the advancements are all such concrete examples of what discipline and hard work can get you. And again, that example carries over into their every day life - from music, to academics, to just learning to get out the door in the morning without your coattails flapping.

Here's some of my and my girls' favorite quotes:

"Sports can do so much. They've given me a framework: meeting new people, confidence, self-esteem, discipline, motivation. All these things I learned, whether I knew I was learning them or not, through sports."
---Mia Hamm

“An athlete gains so much knowledge by just participating in a sport. Focus, discipline, hard work, goal setting and, of course, the thrill of finally achieving your goals. These are all lessons in life.” — Kristi Yamaguchi

"When anyone tells me I can't do anything...I'm just not listening anymore."  - Florence Griffith-Joyner

Don't be afraid if things seem difficult in the beginning. That's only the initial impression. The important thing is not to retreat; you have to master yourself. - Olga Korbut

And best of all...

"Anyone can be cool, but awesome takes practice"

;-)

Halushki.com

foodiemama 5 pts

I absolutely think it's important that kids (girls and boys) be encouraged to be physically active. I love seeing my little girls bouncing on a trampoline, climbing at the playground, and riding their tricycles. And I believe the fact that I was involved in a lot of sports as a child is a big part of why I have remained physically active throughout adulthood.

That said, I HATED the competitive nature of sports growing up. I am simply not wired to knock anyone in the shins with a field hockey stick, or "take a charge" or throw elbows. When someone wanted the ball, I basically handed it over and silently whispered "please don't hurt me." 

I think that ALL girls should be encouraged to be physically active, but as for participation in competitive sports - it should be up to the individual. Certainly no one who wants to be involved should be excluded, but it shouldn't be assumed that everyone wants to be involved. 

www.quinoaandcornchips.blogspot.com ( http://www.quinoaandcornchips.blogspot.com )

iamBOSSY 5 pts

Bossy believes in Ben Franklin's quote Everything in moderation, or at least Bossy thinks it was Ben Franklin, because Bossy also believes in early onset Alzheimer's. Oy.

The problem Bossy sees with sports for young kids is the ambitious parents, who take a healthy amount of age-appropriate athletic dedication and turn it into a tri-county traveling soccer team for 7-year-olds. Just as a random example.

Bossy always ducked out of wanting her kids to participate in this jacked-up level of commitment, at such an early age. There's a time and place for everything.

You can find Bossy over at her place, i am bossy ( http://www.iambossy.com ). Don't even knock, she's always there.

Keira 5 pts

I was born in the 80s, and absolutely hated sports, with the exception of dancing.

I wasn't very good at them, I didn't throw well, i didn't catch well, I hated running, and I always felt weird holding a stick/racket/etc.I liked all kinds of dance, and was passable at gymnastics.

I found it very hard at school, because being the early nineties, my teachers were trying so hard not to treat girls differently, that they forgot to be kind with kids who just a bit crap at sports. Lots of encouragement that felt more like threats. And kids can be very mean.

I grew up feeling, knowing, that I just wasn't good enough, and that there was probably something very wrong with me. I dreaded PE and sports at school, I threw sickies to get out of sports carnivals, and remember at least twice that my best friend,who loved running but was in different ace to me, pretending to have an asthma attck so I could take to sick bay and miss my race. I was ashamed when I couldn't do it 'right'.

Now, after time out of sports later in high school, and only very small forays into organised sports as an adult (turns out i'm still not great with a ball), I've found my niche (gym training, dance and yoga) and have become a personal trainer.

I think helping kids exercise, enjoy both their bodies and the social aspects of sports is great, but be careful not to leave them in an unhelpful environment.

As a trainer, I have found a few actvities that can help kids who struggle with hand eye coordination- give yoga, dance, aerobics (yuck, but it works), martial arts, and gymnastics a try.

Melissa Ford 5 pts

That is an excellent point not to go too far in the other direction and not to misunderstand that just because all sports should be open to all people, that not all people will want to (or excel) at sports.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

Melissa Ford 5 pts

I am so sorry about the termination.

I think your last paragraph is fascinating and it is something I've always wondered since I once taught at an all-girls school.  If these girls were never around boys, navigating that world, would it be difficult to enter it later on.  I wonder if your skills came from playing sports with boys, or just playing sports at all?

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

roxy2233 5 pts

I was born in the 70s and graduated high school in 1994.  My parents encouraged me to try all sorts of activities very early on - soccer, t-ball, piano, violin, art classes.  I loved sports and stayed with him.  I was a competitive gymnast until age 12 when I quit becaused I loved basketball so much.  Played basketball and ran track all through high school.  Career culminated with a track scholarship and running in college.

Regarding the stats you posted - I have not had breast cancer and have not ever been in an abusive relationship.  I did have an unwanted pregnancy at age 18, which I terminated (the loss will be with me forever).

I am now a lawyer in a very male-dominated area.  I think sports accurately prepared me for succeeding in a male-dominated world - I can take criticism more easily and don't mind working hard.  I am not saying that women who don't play sports don't have these attributes, but I think it helped prepare me.

Melissa Ford 5 pts

Oh please yes--the level to which some people take it here.  It's one thing if the passion comes from the child, but so many times it's the parents signing up the kids to play.  And seriously, how many elite, audition-only soccer team levels can there be?  It used to be that there were the normal soccer teams that anyone could be on and then one high-level one that gathered the best in the county.  Now you're "behind" if you haven't made one of the elite teams.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

lauriewrites 5 pts

It has colored my whole life negatively, I believe. As long as kids and parents can avoid what I think can be the crazy-making aspect of youth sports activity (at least in the kids I'm exposed to. You know where I live.) I think it's a fabulous idea. 

Laurie

LaurieWrites ( http://lauriewrites.typepad.com )

Photos on Flickr ( http://www.flickr.com/photos/rubyshoes )

sassymonkey 6 pts moderator

This is the thing you need realize - when I say I am uncoordinated I really, really mean it. I sometimes think that maybe if someone had grabbed me when I was young and threw me into something I might have had some athletic success. And then I look at the toes of any pair of shoes I wear regularly and sigh at the scuff marks on them -- proof that I regularly trip over my own feet walking down the sidewalk. 

I did, once, manage to make a school team. It wasn't a complete disaster but it wasn't quite a success either. So basically sports and me? Never worked out. 

I think there's a lot to be said for what Jenna is preaching about parental support and encouragement. I didn't have that very often. 

Contributing Editor Sassymonkey also blogs at Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca ).

Melissa Ford 5 pts

It is hard to tell sometimes what part of it can only be learned from sports and what part of it has nothing to do with sports, but seems to come from any competitive activity (there could be butthead children in chess, for instance).

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

Melissa Ford 5 pts

Would you have been excited to play netball or would that sort of felt pale in comparison to the other sports out there?

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

JennaHatfield 9 pts

I played softball for 11 years and ran track until the softball incident my junior year caused a broken ankle. I played softball again the next Spring but couldn't run anymore after that. In fact, I still can't. I wasn't ever forced to be in sports. My parents loved that I participated in them as well as my musical theatre stuff. I am, however, a huge sports fan. Minus basketball. I think that's because I'm short and angry about being short. Hmph. ('81 baby.)

What did I gain? It's hard to tell. I got bullied by one girl every year because I was good and her dad was our coach and she didn't want me to be good. She wanted to be the star. Instead of that scarring me for life, it taught me: A) never give up, B) some people are buttheads, C) especially don't give up when some people are buttheads. I also learned the differences in team effort and individual responsibility. I also learned to move when a ball is driven right at your ankle and you're only standing on the pitcher's mound instead of, say, right field. I learned that one the hard way. (See above and the aforementioned break.)

But, really, some of my greatest memories of growing up are about sports, whether I was participating or attending with my family. Western Pennsylvania is a very sports oriented area so that's not particularly surprising. So far, my children seem to have an interest in sports and I will encourage them to find what works for them in those areas. However, if they decide to be solely musical theatre dorks (WOO!) or chess champions, I'll support that as well. I'm not sure if I believe it's the involvement in sports or if it is involvement in general with the addition of parental support and encouragement that makes the difference in a child's life, no matter their gender.

@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom ) from Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com )

sasa 5 pts

I agree - it's not about pushing girls to do things like sport but encourging them to follow their bliss. I was born in the 80s and never played sports because I wasn't interested but if I had wanted to then it probaby would have been "girly" sports like netball that were available to me.

www.sasasunakku.com ( http://www.sasasunakku.com )

Melissa Ford 5 pts

Okay, I started a chess club here on BlogHer.  Anyone else want to join along? 

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

Caissa 5 pts

Mine are six and seven.  I don't really even remember how I learned to play, which is one of the reasons I'm a little nervous about doing so. 

I'm not really sure where the best place online is. I've played a game or two on yahoo games.

Caissa 5 pts

I was born in the 70's, and I graduated in 1996. In high school, I was in the chess club.  The commercials, to me, were never really about sports. They mentioned sports because Nike makes money off of shoes worn for sports.

If you notice, the sentence most often repeated is "If you let me play". That's what I always associated with the statistics, not the sports.  I very strongly identified with those words, "If you let me play".  At the time those commercials were playing, I was coming home from chess club in tears on a regular basis.  You see, Chess is a very male dominated game. I was the only regular female member of the chess club. The only other female was only there when she had nothing better to do, and only to flirt with the boys.  That year (95-96), I had the chance to earn a spot on the team to go to the state tournament. Only the top four players in the club got to go, and I had a good chance to be one of them. The catch? The chess coach only rented one room in the hotel for it. I would have to bring my own chaperone (not a problem) and we would have to get our own hotel room. Because, after me being in the chess club for 3 years, the chess coach just didn't feel there was any need to consider the possibility of needing two rooms at state until it was too late to get one. Once I was informed of that fact, and the other members of the chess team found out, they started treating me different. It was obvious, there was no plan made for if I were part of the state team, so I must not really be one of them. They began to treat me not as a fellow member of the team, but as the girl in a roomful of guys. From then on, I was the oddity, the thing that didn't belong. When I stood up and said it wasn't right, the coach and the principal called me a liar. I'd been taking notation before I could read, but I can count the number of games I've played since then on one hand.

There were a lot of things I learned from my experience with the chess club that year. I learned that the boys don't have to let me play, if they do it's because they want to. I learned that I should accept being treated as less. I learned that I should be grateful to be tolerated.And I learned to keep my mouth shut and not to complain, even when I'm right.

Melissa Ford 5 pts

I just taught my five-year-old mancala this week, and he took to it so well and quickly AND he has such an interest in chess, that I told my husband that I was going to get out books and teach him this summer.  I want to do it right because I learned just by jumping into it.  He's so young and we have so much time that I thought it would be good to learn it little by little rather than just throwing him into a game and having him learn via sink or swim.

How old are your kids?  I'd love to start a chess group here on BlogHer where we can all exchange tips on teaching the game and play each other too.  What is the best place to play it online?

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

Melissa Ford 5 pts

It's funny you say that because I remember once at the beach (um, for everyone else, Tjoselow and I know each other from high school and we remet via BlogHer and Twitter so...thank you, social media and BlogHer for bringing us back together) thinking about how easily you hung out with the guys in their...beach shack for lack of a better word to describe the stomach-turning mess that was their living quarters.  That they included you as one of the guys (and I wanted to be one of the guys and not just a girl too!).  And it's something I remember noting and actually said to Josh before we went out for tapas a few weeks ago.  So it's interesting to read your take on it.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

tjoselow 5 pts

So funny, I was just thinking *yesterday* about how to encourage my daughter (born two weeks ago) to participate in sports.

When I was a little kid (born in the 70s), I ran and played soccer with the boys and was considered something of a jock until I was around 12 when I developed asthma and went full-bore wimp. I'm still tough in a lot of ways, and have been lucky to have never felt much of a boy vs girl dynamic. I want the same for my kid - whether she's a painter, track star, physics nerd or pretty princess. No limits!

Caissa 5 pts

Chess was kind of a big deal in my family. My dad taught all of us to play, usually before we were even big enough to ride a bike. Heck, I was even named after the goddess of chess.  Now that I've got kids of my own in school, I'm working on brushing up my own skills so that I can teach them. I doubt I'd have the interest in actual tournament play, but the idea of playing more often doesn't make me want to deck someone anymore.

Melissa Ford 5 pts

That just broke my heart.  Not just the situation, but what was taken away from you as well as the terrible lessons learned.  Is there any part of you that still longs to take back the experience and play chess now?

By the way, BlogHer--if you're reading this--we should have an online chess club here.  I wasn't in chess club while in school, but I was the head of the chess club when I was a teacher.  And I bet a bunch of us would love to go back to playing.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

Melissa Ford 5 pts

Three cheers to that!

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

kbwehner 5 pts

I love this turn of phrase Melissa, and I think it's exactly the way to approach the nurturing of our precious (though infuriating) young ones in whatever endeavor they choose.  Every child has a passion of some kind and bullying sadly exists on the stage and in the library as well on the soccer pitch.  As parents we can't prevent any of that hurt, nor can we ensure that our children will excel in whatever it is they choose to undertake.  But we can let them know as often as possible and in small as well as big ways that we genuinely are interested in their lives.  I for one am guilty of peeking in a lot of windows as my three little girls take baby as well as big steps!!  

Melissa Ford 5 pts

It does make a lot of difference to have your parent there.  To know they are not just at the major recitals, but at the random game or dance class, peeking in the window because they're interested in your life.  I think about it all the time.  And when I hear it from other adults, it just cements it more in my mind.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).