I'll be OK in the End
I’m one of those people who believe everything in life happens for a reason and that every person we meet teaches us some sort of valuable lesson. I take every negative situation and whirl it around and around until I can find something positive about it.
Last week I was told that come July 1st I will no longer be working at the job that has kept me financially afloat for the past 8 years of my life. My mom, who is a manager at the company, got me the job when I was 15 years old. She and my dad used to drive me to the office every weekend until I got my license. The job was perfect in every way for me. It was a weekend position only so it never interfered with my school schedule, and the hours were from 9-3 which meant I could still enjoy my weekend nights. I worked numerous other jobs during the past 8 years, so this job was never my only income, but it helped me live a more comfortable life. I didn’t have to worry about money or worry that my school schedule would conflict with work. The job, I thought, was secure. I planned on working there for the next 10 months until I graduated and then I would go my separate way. Well, sales weren’t great and the company is currently undergoing major changes – including new management. Under the new rules relatives are not allowed to work at the same location, so that’s the reason I will no longer have a job there.
I won’t lie and pretend that I didn’t spend most of the weekend curled in a ball, crying, and wondering ‘why me?’ I won’t pretend that I didn’t drink a whole bottle of wine after my mom tearfully told me that I will no longer be able to work there. And I sure as hell won’t pretend that this has been easy. I will, however, admit that each day forward is a little easier. Yes, I’m still extremely angry and wondering how I’m going to pay my bills next month, but worrying will not get you very far. I think I grew too complacent in my life and this is God’s way of showing me that I need to mix things up. That job, as convenient as it was, was not very rewarding. It was just a job that I needed to get me through school – nothing more. Maybe this is my chance to find a job that I’ll find rewarding and that I’ll take pride in. Searching for new jobs has been kind of exciting. I think subconsciously I’ve been looking for a change for awhile but I’ve been too comfortable and scared to actually pursue something different.
Yesterday I was feeling particularly down in the dumps. I’m taking a philosophy course this summer and yesterday was the first night of the summer semester. I wasn’t in the mood to sit in a classroom from 6:00 – 9:30 PM. I got to school a little early so I went to the vending machine to get something to drink. Can you believe I was actually contemplating whether or not I should spend $1.25 on a bottle of water? I was thirsty but I just didn’t want to spend the money. I need every cent I have! Well, my thirst won and I begrudgingly inserted the money into the machine. To my surprise when I went to retrieve the water I saw that there were two bottles of water! That never, ever happens. Normally vending machines steal my money. I couldn’t help but smile at my luck. Maybe this was my sign that my luck is changing and that things will get better. Maybe those two waters were God’s way of reminding me that he’s still there, watching over me, and that I’ll be OK. As silly as it sounds, I haven’t been as worried about my future since. I’ve got a feeling that every thing is going to be just fine, as it always is.
What do you guys do when your life doesn’t go according to plan? How do you find a way to dig yourself out of the hole and move on?
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