I'm the 1%



As in, the 1% of people who get pregnant despite their honest-to-God best efforts not to. I took a pregnancy test this week. I had to. I was late enough, and had enough of those pesky symptoms that I needed to know. The fact that I had my tubes destroyed didn't even phase me. And I did...we didn't just tie them...we cut and burned them. But, they can actually heal themselves. Did you know that? Your body can heal itself from that surgery and get pregnant again; your chances increase as the years go by. The test was negative. Praise God.
I told the Sailor after I knew it was negative, as we packed for another cross country move. The funny thing is, I actually think if I were telling him we were pregnant, he'd be scared and stressed out, but would bounce back pretty quickly. He seems to do that. I would be a mess. I thought I was a mess when our baby #4 surprise popped up, but I'd probably need to be sedated if #5 popped up. We plan to take our contraceptive efforts to an even greater level, and 'fix' him too. But you know what - even then I'll pee on a stick if I'm a week late. Even then I'll worry a bit every time an amorous mood strikes.
I know a fellow Coast Guard wife who got surprise baby #5 recently. She's more elegant than I am, and seems to have adapted beautifully, and handled it with grace and patience. I'd be the hot, hysterical mess that eventually figured out a way to squeeze another bed in somewhere, and stretch the paycheck a bit further, and pray every morning for a little more patience and energy. I don't want to though. I've come to love and enjoy having four little women, but this is my max. Everyone has their limit - for some it's one, for many it's two, there are the small number who go for three and have "big families" by today's standards. Then there are those of us that everyone assumes have bunkbeds in every room, and make $300,000 a year to cover the cost of raising 4+ kids this day in age. [We don't have bunkbeds or that kind of paycheck]. 

Wouldn't it be nice if our reproductive system was completely in our control? All of those deserving women who struggle with infertility could have babies. The government would have no say in the decisions we make with our bodies. And those of us whose bodies don't acknowledge birth control could flip a switch and not have to worry about getting pregnant every time our husband looks at us?


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