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I'm fascinated by New Year's Resolutions but I don't make them. Do you?

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I don't do New Year's resolutions. I can't remember a year when I made a resolution and I'm not sure why. It might be because I realized at a very young age that nobody seems to keep their resolutions. It might also be that I tend to be a non-conformist. It might also be that all of the most popular New Year's resolutions make are so depressing and I really try not to make lists that are going to depress me. Or maybe I'm just plain lazy or such a procrastinator that I know I'll never achieve a resolution, so why bother making one in the first place?


I'll tell you what I do make... I make lists. Lots and lots of lists. Here, I'll prove it to you.



1) On my desk, next to my laptop, you can tiny squares of paper pulled from a page a day calendar with half dozen lists I've made over the last week.
2) I make daily or semi-daily "To Do Lists" and post them on my private message boards and scratch each completed item off, religiously. (Sassymonkey can verify this... by the way, she does it too, sometimes.)
3) If you peek at my computer, and click the Evernote tab, you'll see dozens of lists I've made over the last year. Shopping lists, lists of ideas, lists of people I needed to talk to or email. Lists of all sorts.
4) Wander through my blog and you'll find a number of Meme type lists. I'm a sucker for a good Meme list.

Since I am such a list maker, you'd think wouldn't bat an eye at the idea of making a list of New Year's Resolutions. It seems like a no brainer for me to sit down this week and make a list of things I want to change or improve or achieve over the next year. But I won't. Unless of course the perfect resolution Meme appears. So far, I haven't found that Meme.

I've found the End of the Year Meme which is another reminder of why I don't do resolutions. That question "Have you accomplished your 2007 resolutions" thing is just depressing.

I've found the Year in (P)Review Meme which I like quite a bit better and might just have to try.

There are so many reading list memes that I can't begin to list them all, but this 2008 Author Challenge is really interesting to me. I'm also considering creating my own Young Adult Reading Challenge for 2008, but I haven't done more than just think about it.

And of course, there's the 101 things in 1001 days meme that I started a very long time ago. I've loved doing it but I've also been frustrated by it. (Zan has one too) The things I put on the list on day one quickly became impossible, due to extenuating life circumstances beyond my control. Still. It's been interesting and when it ends in less than a year, I think I'll do it again. It's a lot like a "New Year's Resolution" list - but different, somehow.

What about you? Will you be making resolutions this year? Do you have a really great resolution type meme to share? Drop your link to your post about resolutions or list memes into the Mr Linky below. Drop your updates in here as the year goes by, too. I'm fascinated by everyone's plans for the year and even more fascinated by how progress is made - or isn't made.

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hopealso 5 pts

I also don't make resolutions, but this year when I wrote my list of Top 3 Needs ( http://www.hippiedippiebebe.com/simple-living/happ... ) I realized that they were a great alternative to making "resolutions."

I agree that it's the "shoulds," the inflexibility and the guilt that has always made resolutions seem like the wrong path for me. But I do think that the passing of cycles makes such a great opportunity to re-evaluate and bring meaning.

So after reading various blogs and posts about resolutions this year I decided to write out some ideas for alternatives to resolutions. For 2009, my biggest goal is to make sure I keep my Top 3 Needs ( http://www.hippiedippiebebe.com/simple-living/happ... ) present in my life, the three things I need to keep my fuel tank filled to matter how busy I am, despite my highs and lows. So I guess that's my version of a resolution. Here are a few others:

Five Alternatives to New Year's Resolutions ( http://www.hippiedippiebebe.com/simple-living/happ...

Best to all in 2009!

(Mama) Hope ( http://www.hippiedippiebebe.com/about/ )

a la hippie dippie bébé ( http://www.hippiedippiebebe.com/ ), A Natural Parenting Blog

babaliscious22 5 pts

This is my first year not to do any resolutions! This year I'm focusing on forming habits... and i will keep at the same one, til' I make it for 21 days and then I can add on something else- but it is too hard for me to try 4 or 5 things at once. Because if I skip one, I'm more likely to skip the others. So, I'm creating habits this year:)

http://rangersrus5.blogspot.com/
http://happinessfromtheinsideout.blogspot.com/
http://lifehaveityourway.blogspot.com/

Bertie

Kitlat 5 pts

Let me say up front that I am not into "New Year's Resolutions." I was as a child, since we had write ours in grade school. I then somehow saw them for what they are for most people-empty promises that people make because they feel they are supposed to, but don't accomplish because they don't want to. I don't like making promises I can't keep.

I will re-evaluate what I have done and look into making it better or look out over a year and figure out what I need to accomplish. I don't need January 1st to start me on that and I think that others should consider that.

Lists are good, but again I tend to do them as needed, not because a holiday or a time of year when the talk shows and the weight loss commercials go into overdrive tell me to. (oh no-ended on a prepostion!)

"There is never enough time to do or say all the things that we would wish. The thing is to try to do as much as you can in the time that you have. Remember Scrooge, time is short, and suddenly, you're not here any more." -The Ghost of Christmas Present,

jenyiferh 5 pts

I did make resolutions this year. I think all of them are doable and hopefully I'll be able to look back at my New Years Resolutions at the end of the year and say that I did them all.

One thing I've really got to learn to do with my resolutions (or any changes that I want to make regardless of the time frame) is to allow myself to start over. I used to go to Wight Watchers meetings and their big thing was starting over. Lots of people would completely just screw up one day. The important thing was just to start over again the next day.

- Jenni

Step-mommyhood ( http://jenyiferh.blogspot.com )

sbeth055 5 pts

I don't do resolutions...there is so much wierd pressure and hype around making this huge life changing thing happen for yourself. I think people who are really driven and accomplished are thinking about this and things they want all the time, not just once a year.

I do like the idea of lists...I keep them myself and document my goals. I think I heard somewhere people who write down their goals are more likely to accomplish them.

lauriewrites 5 pts

I added some other stuff, too.

Thanks, everyone. This has been really, really, helpful for me this week.

Laurie
(My link is up in the box...number 20: Go check out everyone's posts. Very cool stuff.)

LotionBarBunny 5 pts

I don't make resolutions per say, but I do give myself a 12-month goal to try to achieve. That way if I slack in month 2 or 10, I still have all of the other months to work on it and not sabotage myself.

Last year was about accomplishments--I became the Chief Blogger of a PR firm and then they promoted me to Publicist this past October. I also became more recognized for my beauty blogging. I held a big contest for moms in conjunction with Glamour Magazine's Andrea Pomerantz Lustig and even got Carmindy to donate her 5 minute face book autographed to the winning mom.

This year my goal is to focus on inspiring moms with my story and getting more mentions in the press. It's hard to believe all that I have achieved in such a short space of time and with giving birth to 4 kids and miscarrying another.

Who says that being a mom means you stop dreaming big and achieving those goals? ;)

~Shannon

A Girl's Gotta Spa! ( http://gottaspa.blogspot.com )
Makeup Minute ( http://www.makeupminute.com )
Beauty Pro ( http://www.piercemattiepublicrelations.com/beautyd... )

JennaHatfield 9 pts

Ding dang! That's AWESOME!

-
Jenna
Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) - the new family blog!
Birth/First Parent Blog ( http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com )
The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://www.thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com )

laurie 5 pts

but I have not made new year's resolutions for many years.

The last two New Year's I was coping with cancer diagnoses and could only resolve to get through each day.

This year, however, brought some more positive test results and a coming to terms with the fact that I will be a cancer patient for the rest of my life (but also that that life might be longer than was at first feared). I am working on New Year's resolutions (and yes, I know I am writing this on Jan 2!), as an acknowledment that it's OK to plan for the future and as a way to help set goals and create structure within this new life of mine.

Denise, I have really appreciated everything that you, Lisa and Kristy have written on this subject. Thanks for this post!

laurie
www.notjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com ( http://www.notjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com )

Joy Des Jardins 5 pts

I stopped making New Year's resolutions a long time ago. The guilt was too overwhelming. I've NEVER been good at keeping those things. Besides....my list got longer and longer every year....so I just resolved not to make any more resolutions.

lauriewrites 5 pts

I am just ever more amazed at how generally prolific you are. : )

Laurie
LaurieWrites ( http://lauriewrites.typepad.com )

lauriewrites 5 pts

I love GoodReads...I'll probably steal your idea about that list. : ) I have a hard time finding people on there to friend but I'll try to connect with you (or hope you put a link on your blog) so I can check out what your book plans are.

Laurie
LaurieWrites ( http://lauriewrites.typepad.com )

glossyveneer 5 pts

I'm a resolution maker, a list maker, a task-master, etc. I only made one resolution for the actual 'New Year', but I have a whole bunch of items that I have to complete before I turn 30 later this year!

Maria Niles 5 pts

No resolutions for me, either. I have a theme for 2008 which is "keep climbing." ( http://mariax.vox.com/library/post/hello-world-the... )

Kleenex® Let It Out™ Blog ( http://www.kleenex.com/blog.aspx )
Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

sleepingmommy 5 pts

I've usually made goals instead of resolutions. A list of things I want to achieve. The problem is that I've not been very good at achieving goals for a number of years now. This year I decided to be a little more proactive about it and made a list of resolutions on my blog and I'm printing them out and posting them on my desk with the intention to look at them weekly and see how I'm doing and what I'm not doing to meet those resolutions.

I want this year to be the year I finally make some progress in making my life better--for me and my family. What I've been doing hasn't been working--so its time for a different plan.

Sleepingmommy.com
"If sleep deprivation is an effective form of torture, then the CIA should seriously consider employing my children."

mamarant 5 pts

Getting rid of time sucking devices in 2008 ( http://www.amamasrant.com/a_mamas_rant/2008/01/get... ) and My five weight loss and exercise goals for 2008 ( http://www.thismamacooks.com/2008/01/my-five-weigh... )

Now I'm going to take a nap.

Kathleen Marie 5 pts

I don't make them. I never have really. I think as a teen I tried a few times. I think it is more important to just make life changes when needed and stick to them. I have never met anyone who ever kept a resolution and I agree most are depressing. Why not make happy resolutions like "I will laugh at least 5 times per day!". Now there is a resolution I think I could keep.

God Bless!

mamarant 5 pts

When I realized how much I DID achieve and how close I came to my financial goals, I was actually quite happy. Well, that, peppermint fudge, and the Diet Rockstar helped, too.

Denise 9 pts moderator

I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me. ~Anaïs Nin

;-)

I did, however, make a couple of reading list challenges for the year.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

Denise 9 pts moderator

Hmmm maybe I should change careers and run workshops to teach people how to make lists? Nah. I'm good where I am. But it's nice to have a fall back career. heh.

Can I just say that I can't actually picture you depressed? That's pretty ridiculous since I've only seen you in person a few times, in less than normal environment - but still, the idea just seems impossible.

I'm going over to look at your goals before I keep rambling about F2F impressions and weird stuff like that.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

holly_jahangiri 5 pts

And once I realized that "resolutions" weren't written in stone - that they could be revised and refined and restated throughout the year, as needed, I started making them again. In 2006, I quit smoking. This year...this year promises to be interesting.

Change is great. I don't always feel like "embracing" it, but it keeps life from getting dull and stagnant.

---------------
Holly Jahangiri
http://jahangiri.us/blog

alyssaroyse 5 pts

thanks! it was fun. for reference, i am a total REI girl. i do REI and Burning Man, there's not much middle ground for me. so i don't lack adventure, BUT, i HATE having my picture taken. i look in the mirror and see this cute (albeit super natural, down to earth, girl next-door) woman, and I truly like what I see. then i see pictures and think, "wait, that's NOT ME!"

so i am always the one taking pictures, therby avoiding ever being IN them.

so, silly as it sounds, spending 3 hours under the hot lights of a professional photographer being photographed as a super-hot pin-up girl was kinda hard. but REALLY fun. i definitely accessed parts of me that i had not found before, and got very very comfortable.

but more than that, when i saw the first picture (i've only seen one) i was so happy with the memory of the moment, the experience, that THAT's what i saw in the picture. that lesson, in and of itself, was worth it. photographs are a way to capture memories, they are not sales brochures. they don't have to look perfect, they have to be honest. and yes, he honestly found that smokey pin-up girl in me. and it felt really good.

so yeah, a resolution came out of the experience - i need to be pictured in my own life. regardless of what it looks like, i was there and should be remembered as part of it. ....

and spend more time being smoking hot. (i'd include a picture, but i can't figure out how to add them in......)
___________
Alyssa Royse
JUST CAUSE
make some good news!
www.JustCauseIt.com ( http://www.JustCauseIt.com )

Denise 9 pts moderator

I just tallied my books for 2007 - 146. Not as slow as I thought. :-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

mamarant 5 pts

Denise, I'm obsessed with lists too. And last year I paid to go to two workshops to show me how to make lists of goals, go figure. But after reviewing last year's list, I got depressed. So many things didn't happen for me, while other things fell into my lap that were completely unexpected (both positive and negative).

Here's my year in review post: Setting the Stage for 2008 ( http://www.the-write-spot.com/2007/12/setting-the-... )

Here's my business goals for 2008: Setting Goals When You Don't Know What the Future Holds ( http://www.the-write-spot.com/2007/12/setting-goal... )

I still have personal and diet/fitness goals to blog about and will post them here when they're up.

Happy New Year indeed!

Denise 9 pts moderator

If I do any soul searching or any deep thinking about changing my life, it happens in September. Not ever in December or January.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

Denise 9 pts moderator

I think that's part of my hate for resolutions. People always say it is a woman's prerogative to change her mind... but they don't mean it, or they say it like it's a bad thing but it isn't. Change is good.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

Denise 9 pts moderator

Deb, I think you're going to make 2008 YOUR year. You've got the courage that it takes to make your life what you want it to be. I have no doubts about that at all.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

Denise 9 pts moderator

That's a tough list, Jody - particularly that last one.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

Denise 9 pts moderator

And there you go, I'm not spending my "dash" making lists of things I should do or shouldn't do. I'm just going to do them... or not do them.

:-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

Denise 9 pts moderator

I like the idea of doing three things that move you closer to your goal. It feels more like a to do list that way.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

Denise 9 pts moderator

Right on. I don't like those "shoulds". I will do something, or I won't. If it's a "should", bah. It just doesn't work for me.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

Denise 9 pts moderator

They still feel like resolutions to me. I prefer "to do lists". ;-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

Denise 9 pts moderator

LOL Try it on audio, Cooper. It might help.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

Denise 9 pts moderator

I tried to comment on your blog but your comments are broken (lots of scary error messages when I tried to submit)... so here's my comment:

Good luck with your goals! How are you going to log your foods? Sparkpeople? Fitday? Some other food journaling program?

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

Denise 9 pts moderator

That's me all over. :-)

I love old Modest Mouse, but not new Modest Mouse.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

Denise 9 pts moderator

I'm with Lisa. I'll want a signed copy!

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

Denise 9 pts moderator

I'll be counting up my books from 2007 shortly, I'm sure I got 50 but not sure how much over 50 I managed. There were some pretty slow reading weeks for me this year.

I've created two reading challenges for myself for 2008. I love reading challenges - even when I have to scramble to finish them (like I'm doing for the A to Z challenge I started at the middle of January last year!)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

Denise 9 pts moderator

Now you sound like my over-extended middle schooler (and that's a compliment.)

They had a special "guidance counselor" session in the first quarter to help them manage the stress of middle school and they were supposed to create personal goals every week. She always wrote "get more sleep" - but she had no way to actually achieve that, because she's over-extended. It made me ill every time she told me her weekly goal.

How are you going to get more sleep??? Maybe you have a strategy that will work for our RJ?

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

Denise 9 pts moderator

You aren't allowed to disagree with me, you know that! First Twitter and now resolutions. Tsk tsk tsk.

Actually, I like your list. I couldn't make one like it but it's the kind of thing I like to read from other people. (And I'm always amused by C's twitters about "date night". Heh.)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

Denise 9 pts moderator

Wow. How did you break it off? Was it easy once you started?

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

Denise 9 pts moderator

LOL These sort of violate "Denise" rules but I see from my s/o's resolution list that she has resolved to have more sex - among other things. I'm tempted to have LESS sex just to show her who's boss. I'm a control freak, in case you didn't know that. ;-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

Denise 9 pts moderator

Another reason why I am probably hesitant about resolutions. I don't like absolute. It doesn't give me the control or the freedom to drop what I'm doing and change directions. If I had an "absolute", I'd want nothing more than to do the opposite and when I did, I'd be tempted to be annoyed with myself. I don't need that type of stress in my life. And, there's nothing I'd need to change "absolutely" anyway. ;-)

I look forward to your post today... I don't think you've made it yet but I haven't read my feeds since this morning, so maybe you have. I'll go look.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

Denise 9 pts moderator

I've met you in person, you don't need to lose weight. Buy a different style or type of jeans instead. Susan can probably help you find a pair that's a better fit. :-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

Denise 9 pts moderator

I always hold myself accountable, list or no list - resolution or no resolution.

Prince J said I don't make resolutions 'cause I am already perfect and resolutions are about improving yourself or your life. And, he might be right. I'm happy with who I am and with my life.

The 101 things list, isn't about improving myself or my life, it's about getting stuff done... more or less. The items on my list that are self improvement-like are the ones least likely to get done, lol.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

Denise 9 pts moderator

I tracked down the Printz Award Challenge blog and it's too easy - so you're right, I'll have to read them all - and I've made that commitment. Along with a From the Stacks Challenge.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net )

JennaHatfield 9 pts

I had a list last year that I wasn't up-to-date with at any given time. This year I'm employing my GoodReads account to help keep me updated and on track. I created a "Read in 2008" list. Hopefully it will contain 50 wonderful books by the end of the year!

-
Jenna
Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://www.stopdropandblog.com ) - unveiling the new family site.
Birth/First Parent Blog ( http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com )
The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://www.thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com )

Liz Rizzo 5 pts

And linked up! Love that widget. I really enjoy reading what everyone's resolving.

Liz Rizzo ( http://www.blogher.com/blog/liz-rizzo )

I blog at Everyday Goddess ( http://everydaygoddess.typepad.com/ ).

Daisy 5 pts

My "year" usually starts in September with the new school year. My professional goals (a.k.a. resolutions) begin in September and culminate in June. Personal goals often parallel that timeline or get set and accomplished during a school break.

Daisy
http://compostermom.blogspot.com

holly_jahangiri 5 pts

And since it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind, I balk at making resolutions.

Nevertheless, I've made a few good ones since 2005, and a few of those I've accomplished. Like losing weight, quitting smoking, publishing a book (notice how I slipped that last one in there)...it's a good time of the year to review progress and renew our commitments to ourselves. Because that's what resolutions are, really - commitments to ourselves.

---------------
Holly Jahangiri
jahangiri.us/blog ( http://jahangiri.us/blog )
Focus on a New Year ( http://jahangiri.us/blog/2007/12/29/focus-on-a-new... )

Lisa Stone 6 pts

...to white-water raft, now or ever. Confession? The sport terrifies me. I look forward to reading you as you go for it!

I confess, I find my list rather mundane compared to yours and the beautiful sentiment Jody lists in her #10. But I know that if I don't write it down in blood and hold my own feet to the fire, it simply won't happen. Such is the power of my procrastination...

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder ( http://www.blogher.com/member/lisa-stone )
Surfette ( http://surfette.typepad.com )