I'm Not Having Your Baby

     So, I was raised by a single mother, like most African-American children. I know it must have been difficult at times for my mother to juggle, but I will not equate my youth to that of other African-American kids. Mostly because my parents get along, we weren’t always poor; and I have a great relationship with my father.  Both of my parents are remarried and I had a relatively normal childhood. 
     Although I was raised by a single mother and I turned out great; I do not plan on becoming a single mother.  72 percent of Black children are born out of out of wedlock. 72%? Come on, we have to do better.  But, this post is about me…
     Has anyone every had someone say, “I want you to be the mother of my kids?” I have… It was great to hear that, because I wanted him to be the father of my children…  
      As much as I want to avoid having a child outside of wedlock, I equally don’t ever want to be a step-mother.  I have a great step-mother, so I know it is possible for step-mothers to not be evil.  It isn’t about being a step-mother and it isn’t about a fear of children.  I love kids, I love kids so much that I choose to babysit.  I really really love kids, even kids that aren’t related to me.  I can change a diaper, feed a child, burp a baby, entertain a toddler… ect.  I can’t wait to have children of my own.  the main reason why I don’t want to be a step-mother is because I don’t want my kids to have half siblings.  I have half siblings and I love them, but it is difficult to explain my family tree.  I have a nephew that is 3 years younger than me and a brother that is the same age as my mom… try explaining that to a 3rd grader. It is confusing.
     I date to marry.  Yes, you read correctly.  Dating someone you don’t like is exhausting, and tortuous; and I am not a macicist.  So why would I date a guy who has kids…??  Okay now, what if I fell in love with a man with children? Then I guess that sucks… But in my opinion that won’t be for a long time.  At my age most guys don’t have children.  So, this isn’t a pressing issue.  I fear that in my future I won’t bend on this issue; and if I’m single and 30, I may need to compromise.  Truth be told, we don’t choose who we love.  If I fall in love with a man who has kids, there isn’t anything I can do but love him.  So, I guess I shouldn’t turn away a decent guy because of a child…
    But I will turn a crazy baby-mama away…

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