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I'm okay with Accidental Alpha - just don't let me turn into Ward Cleaver.

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Ward CleavweOn the old "Leave it to Beaver" show, Ward Cleaver arrived home from work at the end of the day to hear about what went on with everybody, and spend maybe an hour or two with his kids before bed.  He never had more than a vague idea about what his kids were up to, but that was okay because his wife, June Cleaver, had things well in hand.

I never wanted to be either Ward or June Cleaver - I always had a different, more equal, more progressive vision of "married with kids."  But lately I'm feeling more like Ward -  like I'm perilously close to being that distant from my kids.

Make no mistake - I'm thrilled that my business is thriving, and I love what I do.  But I really believe I'd be happier if I could work slightly less and spend slightly more time at home.  Sadly, not an option when I'm the breadwinner.  So while I am truly lucky to be able to earn at the level I do such that my family is well taken care of, I know that I could dial it back a little and still find the kind of professional satisfaction and intellectual stimulation I know I need and get to do a few more Mom-type things.

As I whined (yes, really) at my husband the other day, "I never wanted to be the Dad. I want to be the Mom."  My vision of being Mom is that I'm the one who they turn to when they're hurt or sad, the one who bakes the cookies and ensures they're getting enough vegetables, the one who knows when they've grown out of their shoes and that their favourite hat has gone missing, that the school project is due Friday and they aced their last math test...you get the idea.  As it is I feel like I know some but not all of those things, and what I do know I feel like I know late or as an afterthought because so much with kids is real time, not reported later and I don't see them in that after school time period when so much life gets lived.

So given the practical realities, I'm struggling to figure out how to best stay really connected to my kids and what's going on in their lives in a relatively small amount of time every day.  I'd love your ideas.....

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